[Mkguild] Running Wild (part 2 of ?)

[C. Matthias]

>Jael getting settled in at Metamor Keep.  Comments and criticisms 
>are always appreciated!
>
>Running Wild (Chapter 2)

Onne thing you have to keep a watch out for is that some symbol of 
yours is being mangled by your email program:


Jael grunted his assent softly, not able to argue with that in any 
way.  "I suppose so."  One hand went to the back of his neck, 
worrying at the patch of fur growing there.  It had spread since he 
had first felt it, spreading over the majority of the back of his 
neck, merging with his hair and beginning to spread down his back as 
well.  The thin hair on his arms and legs had thickened, and for the 
first time in his life it felt like he was beginning to grow a 
beard.  "Fine.  A short tour$B!D(Band I definitely would like to know 
where the privy is."


Note the bizzare control symbols in the last sentence of the 
paragraph?  That shows up all over your document.  It makes it 
difficult to read and critique.

As for the story itself, it seems pretty good.  I think you have an 
interesting main character, and Alan seems a nice enough fellow.  I 
just have to ask, why did you have to introduce ANOTHER fox?  I'm so 
tired of everybody making canine/vulpine characters!  Gah!!  Sorry, 
just a pet peeve of mine.  You can make your characters whatever you like.

I think the way you flip back and forth between the present and the 
past is pretty good.

If I wasn't woefully behind on all things Metamor, I would give you a 
more thorough critique.  Once I am caught up and can spend more time 
on an individual story I'll make sure to do so.

Welcome to Metamor Keep!  I look forward to your next story!

May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love,

Charles Matthias