[MKGuild] "An Unlikely Story" Part 3

[Ryx]

--- a_lil_dudeinpr2 at hotmail.com wrote:

> And part 3:
> 
> 


A very good read overall at first blush, haven't gone over it with an
editor's eye yet.

Two things get at me...

Location, firstly.  Perhaps I missed it, but what city does this take
place in?

Secondly is name usage.  You flip back and forth between Lois & Vincent
willy nilly and that is hugely confusing as the character does not have
MPD.  Please select one name to use outside of diologue and stick with
that one only.

Otherwise, it's well written and entertaining, flowing smoothly from
start to finish.

Ryx.

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