[Mkguild] MK Randomness

[John Burman]

Yeah, probably noncanon but still funny!
  John Burman aka Fox Marine

Kendo Virmir <kendo.virmir at gmail.com> wrote:
  Massive writer's block... so random scene just for fun.

Likely noncanon!

----

Screeching sounds permeated from below the ridge. I placed my hands
on the rock and slowly peered over, wondering what in blazes could
possibly make such a horrible sound... Whatever it was, there was a
lot of them.

My mouth fell agape and I quickly drew back. Skeleton things! They
trudged through the snow like men... but no flesh hung from their
bones. What in blazes was going on?!

Scores upon scores milled around the road below, brandishing jagged
rusted swords, wooden clubs, and even other bones. Ill-fitting
helmets clanked on bare skulls. Teeth clattered as they shrieked and
stammered at each other. That gate... is that what they were
guarding? Why so many?

Great. Now I was stuck on this blasted ridge with the psycho-axe-fox
and the smart-aleck ferret.

Misha and Finbar pulled back from the ledge, mouths equally agape.
"Think we can do it?" he whispered, "think we can bust through that
gate?"

Finbar shook his head. "Are you crazy? We'd be better off sneaking around."

"But that could take hours! If we don't get in NOW, it'll be too
late!" Crouching, Misha lifted his axe from its resting spot against
the rock and took one more look at the wooden gate below, eyes
intently studying the swarm of skeletons. "A couple of 'taurs could
bust right through that..."

"A couple?"

Misha nodded. "Maybe three." Both of their eyes slid to me, sitting
in the corner. What did they say? 'Taurs? What in blazes were they
talking about?

"Virmir..." Misha stood and walked towards me, leaning on his black
axe. "Take off your pants."

"Wha... what?!" I stammered, nearly falling backwards.

Finbar snickered. "Just do what he says."

Misha nodded. "Hurry, we don't have much time!"

"I think not!" My lips curled in a snarl.

"Listen..." He bent over and tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but
I jumped back.

But now Finbar was giggling, hands cupped over his muzzle. "Just show
him, Misha."

Misha nodded. "Yeah..." He then began unfastening his belt right in
front of me.

"Gah!" I spun around, covering my eyes. Why is the entire world so
screwed up? Blast it! A shadow engulfed me, and I angled my head
back to catch the blasted red's head smiling over me. Except he was
much taller...

I stood and took a few steps back to take the sight completely in.
Four... four legs?! Misha's upper torso towered above me, vest and
armor and all. But his lower half melded into the body of a four
legged fox. And he was huge! What in blazes was this?!

"This is a 'taur, Virmir." He spread his arms wide, and I caught the
motion of his tail flicking far behind him. "Any animal keeper can
take this form."

"Some, Misha, only some..." Finbar slinked around the 'taur's left,
his form also twisted into a six-limbed creature, his lower half
obviously that of a humongous ferret. Good gods! What freaky
monsters! I fell flat on my tail and just stared at them, mouth
agape.

"Most, if not all, I think. Some just have a harder time than others.
It's all a mater of believing." He pointed the tip of his axe at my
nose. "Now we need you to try it, or we won't be able to break
through that gate!"

"But... but..." I stammered, hugging my tail.

"Listen..." he leaned over. Gods, he was huge! "You'll gain a lot
more mass, and you'll be able to run through the snow much more easily
on four legs. If we all hit that gate at the same time..."

"I'm not sure..."

"You've got to try it!"

"I don't wanna be a 'taur!" I grabbed my ears and pulled them down over my head.

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't! Blast it!!"

"Yes you do!!"

"No! And get that blasted axe out of my face!" I reached out and
smacked the flat side of the black weapon. "Gah!!" Pain raced up my
entire arm, as if I were shocked by a level three lightning spell. I
fell cleanly on my back and doubled over, cradling my burning hand.
"Blasting blasted blast blast... blast it!!" I then switched to
Landairish and began swearing more explicitly, rolling around on the
ground.

"Oh, now you've done it... you've made HER mad!" Finbar remarked,
placing his hands at his hips. Or whatever they were, above his lower
forelegs...

Misha stood there blinking. "Sorry... she gets a little sensitive.
Maybe you should apologize." Resting the axe's handle on the ground,
he leaned the head forward as if it were a person waiting for a
response.

"What is WRONG with you morons?!"

"No, seriously, she's..."

"It's a blasted axe!" I crawled to my feet and began to pull my headfur out.

"HER name is Whisper, and SHE doesn't like your tone!"

"Tell HER she can bite me." I pointed the finger of my non-throbbing
hand at him. "In fact, you can take your axe and shove—"

"All right, all right, all riiiiight already!" Finbar stepped in
between, pushing us apart. "Spread out!"

I folded my arms and grumbled, turning the other way as I lifted my tail.

"Listen. Virmir can ride one of us. You're a mage, right? Just hit
the gate with some magic or something..."

I nodded. "I can probably take it out myself, if you can get me close
enough." And I didn't die from the hordes of skeleton-things. Oh,
gods...

Misha nodded as well. "Good. Let's go." He turned to the side and
motioned for me to get on his... second back? Blast it, my head
didn't even clear his torso. How in blazes did he expect me to climb
on?

He sighed, then picked me up by the back of my neck with a single
hand. "Gah!" I kicked in the air until he threw me onto his back.
He reared and I hung on for dear life as he plummeted down the hill.
Oh gods, oh gods!! How in blazes did I get into these messes?

-- 
- Kendo Virmir
http://virmir.com -- Some of my stories!
http://metamorkeep.com -- Metamor Keep Archives

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