[Mkguild] MK: A Pack of Secrets (13/13)
Kamau
jc2blion at taconic.net
Sun Jul 11 20:18:59 UTC 2010
Having finished going over the story I can now make a meaningful comment
beyond typos and tech pointers.
An excellent story Hallan. I liked the flow and the way you kept
weaving in things that had happen in the past as well as glimpses of
what might happen in the future. There was enough rise and fall in the
early part of the piece to keep the reader engaged. When you got to the
meat of the story you pulled us in with both person vs nature and person
vs person themes.
I was a bit surprised by certain parts after the group got split but
that added to the story as it came to a close. I'm not quite sure to
make of Drift's berserker action at the end but again it worked.
A very nice piece and certainly one that will offer much more as you
connect the thread you've shown in it in future stories.
Kamau
!DSPAM:4c3a273b196441804284693!
More information about the MKGuild
mailing list