[Mkguild] MK: A Pack of Secrets (13/13)

Kamau jc2blion at taconic.net
Sun Jul 11 20:18:59 UTC 2010


Having finished going over the story I can now make a meaningful comment 
beyond typos and tech pointers.

An excellent story Hallan.  I liked the flow and the way you kept 
weaving in things that had happen in the past as well as glimpses of 
what might happen in the future.  There was enough rise and fall in the 
early part of the piece to keep the reader engaged.  When you got to the 
meat of the story you pulled us in with both person vs nature and person 
vs person themes.

I was a bit surprised by certain parts after the group got split but 
that added to the story as it came to a close.  I'm not quite sure to 
make of Drift's berserker action at the end but again it worked.

A very nice piece and certainly one that will offer much more as you 
connect the thread you've shown in it in future stories.

Kamau


!DSPAM:4c3a273b196441804284693!



More information about the MKGuild mailing list