[Mkguild] Story Rewrite: A 'Taur's Tail

[C. Matthias]

>Heya folks, been a long while since I'd written anything, but as I
>said on the forums, my situation has improved and I have energy and
>motivation to write now. ^_^
>As such, I sat down tonight and did some re-writing of my story, "A
>'Taur's Tail", with the intent to revise a few things and put it more
>in line with future plans. Also, to fix a few issues with how I wrote
>it originally that make me facepalm a bit now. ;)
>
>So, without further ado, the revised story is below.
>
>That's the end of it. Feedback on the rewrite would be much appreciated. ^_^

Hi Stephen!

It is good to see you writing in Metamor keep again, even if only to 
revise one of your tales.  I recall this a bit from when you first 
shared it so I knew where it was going to end up, but it was still an 
enjoyable ride to get there.  You emphasize the horror of physical 
transformations very well, as well as the utter disconnect that can 
develop between a wizard and the people when the wizard stops seeing 
the as his fellow human beings.  Truly there is an extreme danger to 
thinking oneself inherently superior based on one's gifts and abilities.

The interplay between Kishu and Rakuri was excellent and well 
portrayed.  These are definitely faithful friends and companions of 
many years of adventure.  To be so bound together at the end will 
definitely take some adjusting on both their parts.

As for the writing style, I prefer narrative description myself, but 
your clear style is a good one for getting right to the action while 
still giving us some time to feel for the characters.  I look forward 
to new contributions to MK from your pen! :-)

May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love,

Charles Matthias 


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