[Mkguild] Trust VI

[Jack Moore]

AN: End of this story and tomorrow I should start the next one. Please do enjoy.
Trust - VI
The next morning I woke up very hung over. I rolled out of bed and off of my aching tail. I had been so drunk that I had failed to notice my tail pinned under me. Now the blood returned to it.
 "Damn it! I need out of this fucking place." I yawned. "I think I got an idea on that..." My rat friend greeted me from his crack in the wall. "Not you, I like you. I'd take you with me." The rat squeaked and ran over to me. I smiled.

 "I was really, really drunk last night but I think I got a pretty good idea what I'm gonna do. Took me a while but I got it...I think." I yawned. "What's that smell? Smells like vomit..."
 My little rat followed me out, where Nemo sat eating breakfast. He glanced up briefly as I sat down. "Sir Egland told me I'd be killed if I traveled too far outside of Metamor valley. That sucks." Nemo smirked.
 "I would agree it's not good." I sat down, drooping my tail over the bench. My rat friend hopped onto the scaled appendage and ran up my skirt. He crawled into my lap and I started stroking his fur. "Are you okay? You drank lot last night."
 "My head is killing me." I said. "I don't...I don't want to drink anymore. Can I not ever again?"
 "I'd recommend." Nemo said. "So James, you said I could trust you, you could buy food for us. You did not."
 "I got distracted."
 "You got into your usual mindset of feeling sorry for yourself. So you wasted money we needed on drinking." I rolled my eyes. "Stop doing that! James, what do you think you're doing here? You have to be able to take care of yourself; I have to trust you to do that. But I can't even trust you not to spend the food money on alcohol!"
 "Relax." I said, "I didn't spend the food money on drinking. I spent my whore money, couldn't find the brothel." Nemo raised an eyebrow.
 "You couldn't find the Jolly Collie?"
 "The Jolly Collie isn't a brothel! Seriously, how was I supposed to know that?" I smacked my hands on the table. "Anyway, I want to leave Metamor." 
 "That obnoxious Ecclesia knight was right about one thing." Nemo said, "Leaving is a bad idea."
 "Yeah but we have to do it." I said. "I have to get home, so I was thinking. What if we used the money we've got to hire guards and a caravan to take me home." Nemo barked out a laugh. "What?"
 "How much money do you think we still have?"
 "Doesn't matter." I said. "When we get back to Isenport, we can pay them a lot more. I'm the son of a Lord after all and-
 "James stop."
 "What? All I'm saying is-
 "James stop!" Nemo shouted. "Enough. No more. You're not going home to Isenport." My rat friend quivered against my lap in fear.
 "But I can't live here anymore. I hate this place." He sighed.
 "James, you don't have any choice." Nemo stood up. "I need to buy us food today." I chose to ignore all of what Nemo told me. I didn't want to hear it. I did notice something though.
 "Nemo...didn't you used to have gray hair? Like on the sides of your face?" Now that I had a good look, Nemo's hair looked better. Darker at least, younger even. Nemo paused for a second.
 "Oh my." He swallowed. "That's...something now isn't it?" 
 "What do you mean?" I asked. Nemo shook his head.
 "Just this curse. I had assumed I would join you with a more bestial form. Instead I will be losing my age. Quite unfortunate isn't it?" My jaw dropped open.
 "You're...you're turning into a little kid? The curse does that?"
 "You didn't pay a lick of attention did you? Yes it does. If what you said is correct I will begin de-aging soon." My rat stood up in my lap and sniffed at Nemo. My guardian turned away from us, towards our fireplace. "This...it will be interesting."
 "I got a question. How are you supposed to protect me if you're going to turn into a kid?" Nemo shook his head slowly.
 "I don't know. Don't think I can, but I can't trust you to look after yourself."
"Yes you can!" I said, "I'm a grown man." Nemo laughed.
"So you say. But are you?" He spun back towards me. "You pout, you whine, you make terrible choices, you yell when things don't go your way. You're rude, arrogant and short sighted.
"I want to believe in you James but I can't. You can't even get through the day without making a scene. You really think you can live in Metamor Keep, a place I remind you that you despise, without someone like me protecting you? You'll end up poor, homeless and dead as things are now James."
Ouch.
Nemo's words cut through my bubble of self-pity, if only for a second. Sorrow welled up now instead.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"James I know very well. I know better than anyone here." I turned away.
"...Sir Egland...he said something to me yesterday...he told me I wasn't...he said what you said but less mean."
"Good for him." Nemo mumbled.
"Yeah well he said something else." I gripped my skirt, "He said I could change. He challenged me to be...to be noble." I looked up "Do you think I can Nemo?" 
 "You don't like knights." Nemo said. "What makes you want to listen to this one?" I bit my lip. Images in my head came forward, back in Isenport. A warm summer day, my guardian Sir Tallis with me. A long steel blade.
 A splash of crimson.
 I shuddered. My little rat nuzzled my hand out of concern. I stroked him down to his tail.
"I'm alright. I'm alright." He squeaked with joy. "Nemo, Sir Egland isn't like other knights. Besides you were a knight yourself!" Nemo nodded. "Well you want me to listen to you. You said I'm so terrible but...do you think I could change?" Nemo sighed.
"Honestly? I hope so."
"I can you know!" I stammered, "I can change, I can...you watch, I'll be the man you want me to be." Nemo nodded.
"I'll be interested in seeing that James." He smiled at me. "I hope this isn't just bravado."
"No I mean it! I know I can do it. I can be better." My rat nibbled on the edge of my finger. I turned towards him. "You watch also. I won't let you down. I won't." The words sounded hollow to my ears but I said them anyway.
'I have to change. I can't be like this anymore. I want Sir Egland and Nemo to see me change.' Even as I thought this, something nibbled inside me. 
"But I don't want to change...I wanna go home." I whispered to myself.
***
If this were a story, this would be the moment my character began his great change into a better person. But this is the story of my life and all the proclamations in the world do not make an event so.
Internally I knew I was being a bastard. But I didn't want to change my behavior; I wanted the world to change for me. I wanted to not be a lizard anymore and above all else I wanted to be home. Even with my father there.
I was changing though, even if I didn't want to admit it. I was changing because Sir Egland's words had stuck with me. Here this elk had reacted to his changes with a degree of nobility and grace I was incapable of.
When I looked at him and then myself, the differences were overwhelming. Sir Egland was noble while I named myself noble. For what would soon be coming, I would need to change. 
The next time I met Sir Egland was interesting but I'll share that later. Instead for my next letter, it's time to share the low point of my life, at that time. It was my first patrol and the first time I met Misha Brightleaf.
Sir Egland was a good man and I wish our first meeting could have been more cordial. But he did something important for me. Sir Egland challenged me, so that when I heard Nemo making similar statements about my character I would listen to him. Sir Egland showed me my behavior was atrocious and my behavior needed to change. 
For that I am grateful. I hope he knows how much.
 From your friend in the South.
 J
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