[Mkguild] Fwd: First Day on Patrol (1/3)

[Rimme the Weasel]

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Rimme the Weasel <ontherimme at gmail.com>
Date: Wed, May 20, 2020, 12:19 AM
Subject: Re: [Mkguild] First Day on Patrol (1/3)
To: C. Matthias <jagille3 at vt.edu>


This story was inspired by a camping trip, wasn't it? ;)

So I took a risk reading this story, given that there is much more
backstory to Elvmere I haven't read than there is for Thalberg. I knew he'd
gone on a trip with Malger and Muri, but all the way to Yesulam? And was
excommunicated by the bishops? But although I'm left in the dark to
Vinsah's fervent apostasy (or Akabaieth's journals), I see nothing
internally inconsistent. Actually (from Google searches) I've found that
most of these characters are recurring characters, even if Elvmere seems to
be meeting them for the first time here -- which would make this story a
huge blast to read if I knew them. I was confused at first to see Dallar
here, mixing him up in my head with Deller (who I'm glad has a cameo in
Lorland, at least!).

As for the story, I found it very pleasing to read. Of all the patrol
stories I've read, this one does perhaps the best job of integrating all of
MK's worldbuilding with a realistic medieval world and pacing. Kudos.

The one aspect of the plot that confused me... poachers in Lorland? Does
this mean there are royal forests in Metamor? Why is there a bounty on
poachers? Does this imply that the poachers are not just poor desperate
peasants (as most medieval poachers were), but a professional band of
outlaws? But why specifically brand them as "poachers"? Given that Macaban
is a donkey, is this perhaps a subtle hint that the carnivore guards of
Lorland, or other carnivorous forces, are the real powers behind the barony?

I was so intrigued by the nature of these "poachers" (juggling between 4
different theories of who they were -- peasants, nobles, outlaws, only
mistaken as poachers) that I was disappointed not to see any. But...
looking at the timeline, it looks like whatever happens after Elvmere's
2-week patrol is going to set off alarms in "Gator Courtship". Perhaps my
theory #4 might be the case after all...

Anyways, grammar mistakes!

Part 1

of the bronze inscription. Gold limned the symbol of the bronze
inscription. Gold *lined* the symbol

dressed himself in the scouts uniform. It fit dressed himself in the
*scout's* uniform. It fit and stood half-a-hand higher – the giraffe
probably stood a hand higher, he was almost twice
Elvmere's height and the raccoon wondered how he
could even fit inside. The others – the (confused here... what can't he fit
inside?) could even fit inside *his armor*. The others – the moment before
asking, “How are you feet?” moment before asking, “How are *your* feet?” it's
northern lands. We should be at the barracks *its* northern lands. We
should be at the barracks

Part 2
suddenly. But them ram's eyes saw more than Elvmere expected and he suddenly.
But *the* ram's eyes saw more than Elvmere expected and he
an end to the drills. Van had led Sedric and he through a dozen an end to
the drills. Van had led Sedric and *him* through a dozen stood with the
river and pastureland behind him. His hooves scrapped stood with the river
and pastureland behind him. His hooves *scraped* Jessica lifted her wings
higher to block tapir and tokay. "Has this Jessica lifted her wings higher
to block *the* tapir and tokay. "Has this

Part 3

and fingers. He felt the dirt underneath his feet crumble and his
toes and heels sank into the loam. and fingers. He felt the dirt underneath
his feet crumble *as* his
toes and heels sank into the loam. (or) and fingers. He felt the dirt
underneath his feet crumble and his
toes and heels *sink* into the loam. The hippos short ears flicked around
toward the raccoon, hand The *hippo's* short ears flicked around toward the
raccoon, hand not quite over yet". The heavy pack he'd carried along with
the boots not quite over *yet."* The heavy pack he'd carried along with the
boots

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