<html> <body> <blockquote type=cite class=cite cite=""> Well that's about all I have written so far. I would like an honest opinion before continuing so I wont keep using the same mistake as reference.</blockquote> I think the story plot and so forth are all fine.  You could stand to do some more editting of course, but we all can.  Do you have somebody who can dedicate the time to give you good feedback on that? As for your characters, Marto seems an interesting chap.  We don't have ay lions at Metamor, so he's a good addition. I also like Simon the python.  Not enough snakes around, especially not good ones like pythons!  You might want to avoid excessive duplication of "s" when he speaks.  It looks clunky after a while and makes it harder to read.  I was surprised that Jack DeMule only had a cameo and not even a line to say, but otherwise the story looks plot and setting-wise fine. May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love, Charles Matthias</body> </html>