<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:HelveticaNeue, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, Lucida Grande, sans-serif;font-size:16px"><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="" dir="ltr">AN: Final part</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="" dir="ltr"><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="" dir="ltr">Value IV/IV</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">'So I've messed up again.' I couldn't silence that voice, it chanted all the way back to my hovel. 'Now I've got a priest mad at me and a fellow lizard.'</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I'm not going to be one of them." I reached my door but didn't go in. Instead I paused before it for just a moment. "I'm not. I'm still human and I'm going to...I'm not a lizard." I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to the unknown divine. </div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>The hovel was warmer than it was before. Nemo had lit a fire in the room and the warmth soaked into my bones. Thank you Nemo.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"It's too blasted hot." I said. Nemo scarfed up a piece of bread and shrugged. "Put out the fire."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I am cold. If you want to be cooler, go to your room." I rolled my eyes and sat down on a stool beside Nemo. Pain rocketed up me but I tried not to show it.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"You okay? You look like you're in pain." I didn't do a good job of hiding it. "Your skirt is still clean, that's something."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Stop calling it a skirt." I grumbled. "It's a sarong." I focused on breathing and not on the pain.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"At least you got out of the house some today. I am proud of you for that James." I shrugged. "Just trying to provide a compliment."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I don't want one." He sighed.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Fine. What were you doing out there James?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I was exploring this awful castle." I said. "You know, in Isenport we no longer live in a castle that's been around since the Suielman Empire fell. We built a manor house." I gestured to our walls. "It always stayed the same size, the same layout. It's not ugly gray rock."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"This place...never mind." Nemo kept eating.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I spoke to a lizard named Patrick."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Oh? And what was he like."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"He's okay I guess." I said. "He's an Ecclesia priest." Nemo went stiff.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"A what now?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"An Ecclesia priest, did I say something wrong?" Nemo frowned. "What? What did I say?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"It's not you." Nemo mumbled. "Don't talk to any more of...those priests. They are wicked and pernicious councilors, falsifiers."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I thought you believed in that crap!" I said. Nemo glared at me.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Do not refer to my beliefs as crap. And do not associate with those people, that I am telling you now. They are corrupters of the highest order; they pervert the Way, the pervert Yashua and Eli."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Are you a....What's the other one?" I asked. He sighed.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"A Rebuilder is the term you search for. No I am not one. Rebuilder implies a desire to rebuild, the faith I follow wishes for no such thing. I am telling you now, whatever you wish to believe is fine but do not speak with one of them."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Believe what you want but do as I say. Even Nemo wasn't immune to that.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Whatever, I'm not planning on it." I said. "He called me a lizard. He acted like I was one of them."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"You are a lizard." Nemo said.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I don't consider myself one. You can't see any scales on me."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Except for the ones coating your face." I didn't respond. I kept my eyes on the table. "Did you enrage him?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">"I yelled at him." I said. "I threatened to stomp on his damn crackers. I wish I had." Nemo smiled at last. "Why didn't he yell back?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Excuse me?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I kept screaming at him, the stupid priest didn't yell at me. He kept talking about faith, understanding and crap like that." I said. "I don't get it. If those crackers were so important why didn't he punch me for wanting to crush them?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I can't explain how Ecclesia think." Nemo said. "I can assure you they're all insane."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I guess." I sighed. "Why the hell did I yell at him? He was so nice..."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I can't answer that question." Nemo said. "What do you believe?"</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"I believe he was wrong. I know he was; I'm not going to be a blasted lizard like he is. I won't."</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"If you wish to believe that it's fine." Nemo said standing up. "Just for the record, yelling at Ecclesia priests is something I have no problem with. They have earned a good yelling." I stayed behind at the table.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">'I've just made things worse haven't I?' I buried my head in my hands. 'Yep, much worse. I need to apologize to these people...why can't I get out of here?' I stopped the tears this time, too tired to cry. 'Why can't I get out?'</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">My room was cold and I refused to make a fire. For now my body would still warm itself and I was going to take full advantage of it. </div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">The ache was down into my bones. I brushed it off and climbed onto my bed. I had a piece of bread still with me to eat. I laid down on my back.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">'Oh damn why do I do this to myself?' I could have rolled onto my side but instead I chose to stay on my back. Even as the pain rolled into my skull I wisely refused to move just to prolong my agony.<br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">"Squee!" I bit my lip and looked over the side of my bed. The little rat from earlier looked up at me. It sniffed the air, standing briefly on its hind legs.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">"How's your day been?" I broke off a piece of bread. "Afraid mine has been a bit of a mess. I yelled at a priest over crackers. Can Ecclesia priest curse you?" I rolled onto my side to feed my little friend. The wave of relief was instantaneous.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">The little rat scurried over and ate the bread from my fingers. I stroked its back while it did. "I think they can." I smiled at him. "Probably deserve it." The rat made a noise of thanks and briefly rubbed against my hand before scurrying off. </div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">"Come back any time." I whispered before rolling back. The pain returned, even worse than before, now I felt it splitting me apart. "Damn it...Got no choice..." I rolled onto my other side, again letting relief overtake me.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">'Much better.' My new tail drooped over the side and soon I fell asleep.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br class="" style=""></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Again my hand grows tired, so I will end here.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Patrick was a good man, I wish I had known that then. I would learn that in time but my first meeting with someone who would help me so much ended with me screaming at him. I disrespected the Eucharist but to my credit I wasn't struck dead right there as I probably should have been.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Life is so odd. In that night I had been given my first introduction to being a Follower and been informed about the Fellowship. Yet I wouldn't come into the Ecclesia until by my own choice nor would I seek out the Fellowship until I needed it less. But I'll get to that later.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I wish I could hand these letters to my younger self, or perhaps to those who I would soon meet. Still, looking back it's not all bad.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>My attitude had not changed but that night was the first night I was able to do something important. </div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style="">I surrendered. If we want to change, we often have to begin by doing that. It's never easy.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Your friend in the South</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"><br></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span>J.</div><div class="" style="" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2738"><br class="" style=""></div><div class="" style="" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2739"><br class="" style=""></div><div class="" style="" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2740">AN: Well I am physically and mentally exhausted. This is the last part, all comments wanted. It needs editing.</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1430046504721_2441" class="" style=""><br class="" style=""></div></div></body></html>