<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:bookman old style, new york, times, serif;font-size:13px"><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1437220172403_17992">Same here -</div><div> </div><div dir="ltr">I got that last one I made a brief comment on, but having perused Mattrat's replies I'm a bit more keen on actually giving this work a read!</div> <div class="qtdSeparateBR"> </div><div style="display: block;" class="yahoo_quoted"> <div style="font-family: bookman old style, new york, times, serif; font-size: 13px;"> <div style="font-family: HelveticaNeue, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, Lucida Grande, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> <div dir="ltr"> On Saturday, July 18, 2015 7:06 AM, Bill Kieffer aka Greyflank <greyflank@hotmail.com> wrote: </div> <blockquote style="border-left: 2px solid rgb(16, 16, 255); margin-left: 5px; margin-top: 5px; padding-left: 5px;"> <div class="y_msg_container">This is weird. I am not getting the postings for Trust at all... only the replies. (and yes, I checked the spam filters) -Greyflank ---------------------------------------- > Date: Sat, 18 Jul 2015 06:06:07 -0400 > To: <a shape="rect" ymailto="mailto:jackthefrilledlizard@yahoo.com" href="mailto:jackthefrilledlizard@yahoo.com">jackthefrilledlizard@yahoo.com</a>; <a shape="rect" ymailto="mailto:mkguild@lists.integral.org" href="mailto:mkguild@lists.integral.org">mkguild@lists.integral.org</a> > From: <a shape="rect" ymailto="mailto:jagille3@vt.edu" href="mailto:jagille3@vt.edu">jagille3@vt.edu</a> > Subject: Re: [Mkguild] Trust I > > At 08:57 PM 7/14/2015, Jack Moore wrote: > >>Trust >> >>To My Friend in the North >> >>Yes I know the last letter didn't make me sound good but it wasn't >>supposed to. It's something I suspect Eli and I will discuss when I >>meet Him. The crushing of the Host is something I still regret, but >>there is no way for me to undo it. It was how I acted and I can't undo it. >> >>And it is a sign of Eli's eternal mercy that the first time I steped >>in to the Keep chapel that Yahshua didn't come off the cross and >>beat me. I deserved it. And Nemo had every right to be mad at me. >> >>Patric especially, though. I wanted to apologize to him almost right >>away but it was two weeks before I saw him again. In that time I >>managed to annoy two people. The first was Sir Egland, the >>second...a very well known vulpine. >> >>I want to discuss neither of these incidents but I have to. I might >>as well start with the first, the time I met Sir Egland. He talked >>to me, challenged me and then I vomited on him. > > This introduction made me laugh a good bit. Ack, lizard vomit > awaits! How can I resist! LOL! > > >>March 28th, 707 >> >>The sun slipped into my room from a small window above my bed. I >>couldn't remember if the window had been there yesterday, but it was >>now. It gave me some badly needed light but it also brought in the cold air. >> >>My tail ached badly even though I was no longer sitting on it. The >>tip dragged the ground, so I had to either walk with it up or endure. > > You're missing a word here: "dragged along the ground" or "dragged > across the ground" > >>"Yeah wait and see." I tied my other foot up. "Perfect!" My feet >>were wrapped in linens, held in place by crisscrossing leather >>straps. They had grown to twice their previous length. Tying them up >>caused my new claws to rub against my toes. >> >>"What do you think?" I asked my rodent friend. He took one look and >>curled into a ball. I rolled my eyes. "Be completely honest, don't >>hold anything back." I wrapped my skirt around me, trying still to >>hide my tail. This despite its increased length. I might as well >>have been trying to hide it with air. > > And here I thought it was a sarong and not a skirt. The cracks in > his invented reality continue to spread! > >>"This still doesn't feel real..." I had purchased a scarf yesterday, >>during a very brief excursion to the Market Square. I felt calmer >>wrapping this aba around my neck since it hid the spines. Now only >>my head was uncovered. > > "aba" => "about" > >>"My hairline is receding." I felt along the top of my skull. Yep, it >>was vanishing and fast. My eyebrows had already disappeared. This >>curse had taken my home, my way of life, my title and now my hair. >> >>Truly its evil knew no bounds. > > Not content with merely everything you knew before, but it also had > to go for the hair. The dastardly horror! Most of us have to wait > until we're forty for that to start happening. ;-) > >>"Know what I want to do?" The rat cocked his little head. "I'd like >>to go hawking today." I grinned. "There's nothing quite like a day >>spent with your hawk. My current one is Ulysses. >> >>"He's this...red-tailed hawk I've had for almost two years. He >>uh...he's great. Just watching him fly" I shook my head, "I could do >>it all day. I swear." >> >>Hawking is the greatest of all the pastimes. Hunting with arrows is >>a bloody, violent past time I despise. I've never liked killing, but >>when hawking at least the hawk can get a meal out of this. >> >>When you're hawking you are free. In the field, the wind blowing >>through your hair and the hawk screeching as it circles above you, >>you are at peace. You can forget your father's obsessive grooming >>you to take over for him, your place in an Empire you don't know. >> >>"I don't think Duke what's his name even knows how to go hawking." I >>said. "Who is running this place?" I scratched my head. "Nemo said >>he was a horse...nope don't remember. >> >>"How can Duke Clip-Clop be a ruler and not enjoy hawking? It's >>insane." Not as insane as was calling him Duke Clip-Clop to his face. >> >>Which I did. >> >>But not for a few months. > > First off, I love this depiction of hawking. It shows him to be that > spoiled Lord's brat and very human at the same time. We see > something he enjoys doing, something that makes him feel like > himself. This makes it all the more sad that he likely doesn't have > his hawk anymore because this is exactly the sort of thing we'd like > to see him get the chance to do! > > And calling Thomas Duke Clip-Clop is actually really funny right now > because Thomas is still under the halter's influence and in another > month will nearly succumb. If he'd done it now Thomas probably would > have reacted with a bemused, faraway grin. Not so much in a few months. ;-) > >>"I need out of this room." I stretched and stood. "I need a whore >>very badly. I need a whore, where is the brothel?" I yawned. "God >>almighty. Think think, think...oh I know where it is!" >> >>Yesterday I had heard someone discussing a business somewhere in >>Euper. From the name, I knew it had to be a brothel. "It's called >>the Jolly Collie inn! How can it not be a brothel?" >> >>In my defense, that does sound like the name of a brothel. > > ROTFLMTO!!!! > >>"I'll find the brothel and then I'll...maybe I'll fuck a dog girl." >>I shrugged. "Never done that before. What do you think?" My rat >>sniffed curiously. I smiled and stroked his fur. > > And that touching moment of humanity is flushed away. > >>"Well you're becoming a lizard- >> >>"I am not!" > > Slipping back from Anger to Denial I see. > >>-And as a lizard you will not be able to handle cold temperatures. >>So this" He gestured at the floor, "needs to change. I'd recommend >>we go find something, carpeting, thrushes, sand or something else." > > Thrushes or sand probably fits their budget better. In this age > carpeting would still be very expensive. > >>"Actually no. I'm tired but not bad tired. I just feel peculiar." He >>held up his hands. "My skin is less rugose. I wonder, perhaps a >>result of this beneficent place?" I rolled my eyes. >> >>"Can't you just say stuff without me wondering what you're talking >>about?" Nemo shrugged. > > This is why some folks are having trouble knowing who is > speaking. You haven't noted who is speaking, but you mention the > other person in the narrative description. I recommend trying to > make it more obvious who is speaking, by noting what they are doing > while they are speaking. Reactions are fine, but when the only > person you mention when person A is speaking is person B then things > get confusing. > > I do observe that in other parts of this conversation you do have "I > said" show up a few times and that's good. No need to go overkill on > it, just keep a wary eye on it. > >>"And it just...it sucks! I can't fix it! I don't want to fucking be >>here! I want to burn this place, this Keep and my fucking tail!" >> >>"I didn't know you had grown a tail." I cocked my head. >> >>"Excuse me?" Nemo smiled. >> >>"I'd like to see you wear fewer rags. I bet your tail looks >>magnificent on you." It does look fantastic on me now. Then though >>it was a fleshy nuisance wrapped in scales, a reminder of my beastly fate. >> >>"I thought I told you about this..." Nemo shook his head. "Well I >>did, I've got a fucking tail and no you can't see it. You wanna see, >>grow one of your own." Nemo sighed. > > This section above here is probably the worst for what I meant. In > context I know who is who, but if you didn't, it'd be very easy to > think the opposite person is speaking each line and then get confused by it. > >>"I would be so lucky. I suspect I am not though James." He untied >>our money bag, at his waste as always, and pulled out a few shiny >>coins. Silver I believe maybe a few coppers. "James you need to >>learn to prioritize and I need to know I can trust you. I want to >>give you this money but I know what you will use it for." > > "waste" => "waist" > >>"I admire your bravado. One thing I'm going to purchase today is a >>pot. We might need one." >> >>"Yeah yeah." I stood up. "Look thanks for the money, I won't >>disappoint you. Promise." >> >>And I did intend to keep that promise. I really did. Just...things happened. > > LOL! What a great line to end things on here. Ah, James, we go from > feeling sorry for you and wanting to cheer you up to rolling our eyes > and wanting to give you a good slap to wake you up. Apart from the > few things I noted I think this is going very well, Jack! > > May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love, > > Charles Matthias > > _______________________________________________ > MKGuild mailing list > <a shape="rect" ymailto="mailto:MKGuild@lists.integral.org" href="mailto:MKGuild@lists.integral.org">MKGuild@lists.integral.org</a> > <a shape="rect" href="http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild" target="_blank">http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild</a><div class="yqt4201245387" id="yqtfd02753"> _______________________________________________ MKGuild mailing list <a shape="rect" ymailto="mailto:MKGuild@lists.integral.org" href="mailto:MKGuild@lists.integral.org">MKGuild@lists.integral.org</a> <a shape="rect" href="http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild" target="_blank">http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild</a></div> </div> </blockquote> </div> </div> </div></div></body></html>