<font color='black' size='2' face='arial'>Ve<font size="2">ry nicely done. Poignant! <br>
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<div> <font size="2">Chris<br>
The Lurking Fox<br>
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<div style="font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:10pt;color:black">-----Original Message-----<br>
From: Jack Moore <jackthefrilledlizard@gmail.com><br>
To: mkguild <mkguild@lists.integral.org><br>
Sent: Wed, Jan 13, 2016 8:13 pm<br>
Subject: [Mkguild] Memories of Madeline<br>
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<div>AN: Something short I had rattling around my brain. Not heavily edited because school is starting back. I have little time sadly. As always leave feedback.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>Memories of Madeline</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>There was a moment for Nemo every day between sleep and waking. It was the moment when the sun began to rise and the last vestiges of twilight filled his room and soaked through his eyes. His mind grasped at sleep but wakefulness began to cut into him.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Sleep had for years come to Nemo with difficulty. Even when he did grasp it, he struggled to hold it. When he held it far to often nightmares attacked him. Still the few dreams he had he savored all the more.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Every night he went to bed early and would lay there for some time in waking. After a while his settings faded away and new feelings took their place. Now as the sun rose his waking body regained sensation. But his dreams still held on, leaving him between wake and sleep.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>In this place Nemo knew he was dreaming but was still in Metamor Keep. His eyes were closed but he could see through them, the stone room, the empty fireplace, the small table and chairs he had bought. He could feel the nicked surface just beneath his fingers and the threadbare carpet he bought under his feet.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Time and sensation flowed together in these moments. Nemo was no longer as he had been, his sense of self was washed away. His body stayed in one place but his mind flowed through his life. For just a second his soul was at peace. Once again he felt...</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>...he felt her...</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>...her kiss on his lips...</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"My beloved." Madeline's face filled his view. Her red hair falling over her eyes, across his body. His fingers ran up her back. So warm and solid, her skin was soft and supple. Her laugh rang out in his mind.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Madeline..." A wail shuddered up from deep inside him. He smothered it and almost woke himself up. "Madeline I can't...oh Eli I missed you so much. But you're..." She smiled.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I'm here my love." Her blue eyes were so crisp, like cut glass. He could stare at them for hours. Madeline lay down beside him on his bed. She nestled his head against her. "I'm always here for you."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I don't deserve you." Nemo whispered. "I've done so many bad things Madeline. You can't be around me. I'm not..."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You are the man I loved." Madeline said. "My beloved Sir" Nemo placed his finger against her mouth. She kissed it.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I'm not Sir anything Madeline." Nemo sighed. "That man is no more. My name is Nemo."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You're a man." Madeline whispered. "You belong to me." A third body joined them on the bed. "Just as he belongs to us."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Jacques..." His son smiled up at him. "Please Madeline not him."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"He's our son." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Please I can't." Nemo whispered. "I just can't." Jacques' smile stayed even as he climbed off the bed. That just wounded Nemo deeper. "I can't think of him right now, it's killing me." Madeline rubbed his head.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"But you can think of me." Madeline said. "Or am I hurting you as well?" Nemo tried to turn away but Madeline stayed with him. No matter where he looked she filled his gaze. Her hand grazed his face. "You know I wouldn't hurt you."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I know I hurt you." Nemo whispered. "I can't undo that. I have to live with that for the rest of my life." Madeline didn't respond to this. Instead she turned away from Nemo.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Come all you fair and tender maids, That flourish in your prime." Her voice drifted through the quiet of the room, wrapping around Nemo's mind. He smiled. "Beware, beware keep your garden fair. Let no man steal your thyme. Remember the day you heard that?"</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Not only did he hear it but Nemo saw it. The young girl tending poultry, her hair tied up and her skirt billowing. Her feet were bare and in her hands she held a switch she used to heard the fowl.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Behind her walked a young knight from a distance. Only days earlier his mind had been filled with dreams of serving the Church. Now this beautiful maiden filled his mind.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"My sword didn't fit me." Nemo said. "My briches were too large. Was I really that gangly young man?"</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Once upon a time." Madeline said. "I thought you looked cute. You looked like a boy playing knight." The younger Nemo ran up to the maiden. He froze though before he could say anything. He raised his arm, then dropped it.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"I was scared to say anything." Nemo smiled. "I knew you'd reject me if I did." The scene faded away. Now the two lay together on a hill, staring at the water. Madeline's head rested on Nemo's chest.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"That doesn't look like rejection to me." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I was incorrect." Nemo said. "I never could understand though. You were so beautiful. Yet you settled for someone like me."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"It wasn't settling." Her hand squeezed his. "I loved you so much. I still do...I..." Madeline kissed the side of his face. "We had passion didn't we?" The sun faded and the setting melted way. </div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>It reformed at night. A room, one window open to the warm summer breeze. A silver light outlined two forms in a bed together. Nemo held his love, kissed her. She scratched at his back.</div>
<div><span style="white-space:pre"><br>
</span>"We had passion." Nemo repeated.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Among other things." Madeline slid in front of Nemo. Now she wore a loose fitting shirt and a much shorter skirt. Nemo frowned. "Something wrong?"</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"You look so beautiful." She laughed.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"That's what you want isn't it?" Madeline asked. "The beautiful woman you loved?"</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"I...no I do." Nemo swallowed. Suddenly he was more aware of his half sleeping mind. "But I can't have you Madeline. I can't...not the way I want you." He rubbed his eyes. "Get me out of here please?"</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"What do you want to remember?" Now she drapped her arms over his shoulders. "I just want to help you my love." Nemo nuzzled against her arm. "Here, maybe this memory will be better for you."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>The two figures became three. Now Madeline's hair was down and her skin shone. Nemo lay in bed with her, cuddling her against him. At her breast was a newborn. This memory brought a smile to Nemo's face.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Jacques..." Nemo whispered. He reached out but his arm never touched the memory. "I...I want him back. I want my son back. I want you back Madeline." Nemo's fist clenched around his bed sheets. "I want our life back but I can't have it. It's gone."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Nemo-</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"And it's my fault." He barked out a laugh. "My cowardice. My arrogance. I'm the reason everything went wrong Madeline." Nemo shuddered as the image changed. Now his memories showed him that place.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>The worst day of his life.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I can't be here." Nemo said, shutting out the memory. "I've already lived through that once, I won't do it again." The image returned to Nemo and Madeline with their son.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Now time flowed foreword. Jacques was a toddler and churning his little legs to keep up with his father's mighty steps. The first winter the three lived in their tiny cottage, trying to stay warm. Every time Nemo returned from a trip or a campaign, his son would be waiting for him but now a little bigger.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"We were so happy there," Nemo said. "In our little cottage. Those were the best days of my life."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Mine also." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Every time I had to leave I wondered if I'd come back." Nemo mumbled. "But someone had to bring in the money. I could have been a scholar but Eli knows the world needs more people to hit things with pointy sticks."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You were the best at hitting things with pointing sticks." Madeline said. "You were my hero, my shining knight." Nemo shook his head. "You are my knight, no matter what you believe now."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>The image now shifted to one more familiar. "One of the only positive memories I had while traveling." Nemo said. "My first time in Metamor Keep."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"There's something different about it." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Everyone is human and ages normally." Madeline nodded. "Yeah this was a little while before the curse. Not that long..." He could remember his first time walking into Keeptown. It had been ice cold and the wind cut through his skin.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"The people were friendly enough but that's not what impressed me." Nemo said. "Their was a sense of freedom here. Oh sure their was still the barriers between upper and lower classes, but even before the curse those felt less rigid."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"The Empire was never like that." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"No at the Empire I was the best glaive fighter they had." Nemo said. "I was still just another knight to them. Hell, since I wasn't born in the Empire I was never going to earn a commission. I was never going to be anything but a warm body."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Nemo could now see faces, the faces of Metamor Keep as it was now. Human and anthro, people who were excited and scared. But able to interact with each other. They didn't worry about social standing. "This place is nothing like anywhere I've been before.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"In Metamor Keep no one is human." Nemo laughed. "Yet they show me the best of humanity. Soon James wont be human and if he will open his mind he can become a great man here. Metamor Keep's beneficent influence is all around him."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"And you believe Metamor Keep will save that brat you protect?" Nemo frowned. "Did I say something wrong?"</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I don't think James is a brat." Nemo said. </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Yet I said it and I am your dream so you must."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"No he's not a brat." Nemo sighed. "James is stubborn, arrogant, scared and prone to acting without thinking, or not acting at all. But if he's a brat, it's because he's been forced to act as one. The environment he came from-</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Don't make excuses." Madeline said. "You know he's a grown man. Or a grown lizard I suppose. He's responsible for his own actions." Nemo nodded. </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Maybe so. But I believe he can change. He can be better than he is." Now time moved away again. Nemo was all-alone, long after he had lost his family. He stood on the grounds of the Dorothea Manor. </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>This day was warm with a light breeze. Nemo stood in his light armor with the crest of Lord Leontes in the center. He had only been hired a few months ago. Most of the knights working for the House of Dorothea were former mercinaries.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Lord Leontes couldn't understand loyalty but he could understand money. It was his philosophy that the only thing that motivated people was money.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I couldn't stand Leontes" Nemo said. "Any time I had to speak to him, I felt the need to bathe."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"How does that make him any different from other nobles?" Nemo smirked. "Why would you work for such a repulsive man?"</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Simple. I needed the money." Madeline's arm drapped across his shoulders. "In addition my life was askew. So going to work for someone who could send me into the maw of death seemed wise."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"And what were you doing that day?" Their gaze turned towards two figures in front of Nemo and the other knights. A teenage boy wearing a velvet cap, breeches, surcoat, coat, a golden belt and a hawking glove. Beside him was the latest falconry instructor Leontes had brought in.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Don't they ever dress formal at this place?" Madeline asked.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Leontes believed dressing formal would make your servants forget you were of higher rank. I never forgot." A falcon swooped in, it was a goshawk which landed with a screech. Nemo smiled.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"That's Patroclus." Nemo said, "James kept him before his current hawk. He was a very intelligent bird, though my knowledge of falconry is limited."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"His doesn't seem to be." Madeline said. Young James stroked his birds feathers and fed him a piece of meat. </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"How boring is this?" One of the knights whispered to Nemo's past self. "We have to stand to attention because the noble twerp wants to play with the birdy." </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Who is that?" Madeline asked.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Sir Maylin." Nemo said. "Unfortunatly he wasn't very quiet." James head snapped around.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Did you say something knight!" Sir Maylin blushed.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Nothing sir! Just wondering what we're doing out here." Past Nemo and current Nemo rolled their eyes in unison.</div>
<div>"What do you think moron? We're doing our jobs."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"You are doing what I tell you to!" James yelled. His face began to turn red. "I am your boss and-" Nemo gestured to Madeline. The world froze for a second. He pointed to the bird on James glove.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Now pay attention to this." Nemo said. "Patroclus was still new and being trained. And one thing James said never to do was to...well" The bird screeched and suddenly took off. "Never yell. Any loud noise or sudden movement can set them off."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Patroclus had a bell attached to his leg so James could easily find him. This was unnecessary though since Patroclus found his target.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>The head of Sir Maylin.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Gahhhh!" Sir Maylin screamed as blood began to roll down his face. All of the knights jumped back and Patroclus dug it's claws in. Past Nemo pulled out his short sword. He prepared to strike the bird dead.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Stop!" James yelled. All the knights turned towards him. "Don't do anything, if you kill that bird I'll have your hand." Nemo froze.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I really didn't want to lose my hand." He said to Madeline. James pulled out another piece of meat.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Don't anyone move." He said. "Talk in calm tones." Nemo felt riddiculous taking orders from a fifteen-year-old, but he did as James said. He slowly lowered his sword. </div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Come on Patroclus." James held up his gloved hand. "Come to me." In complete contrast to the yelling teen from earlier, James demeanor was gentle and calm. He whistled at the bird and held up the meat.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Patroclus began to loosen its grip. "That's it." James whistled again and the bird leapt onto his glove. Maylin let out a sigh of relief. "Go get yourself healed. I wont report this to my father but you will never yell again. Agreed?"</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Yes sir boss." James ignored him, he was instead focusing on his bird. Nemo of the past stared at him in confusion. Nemo of the future smiled at this.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"James had spent the whole morning yelling at us, complaining about his violin lessons and his dance lessons. Then I saw for a moment this brat acting...different. He was kind and even forgiving of Sir Maylin."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Why was that?" Madeline asked.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"I don't fully understand. Being with that bird brought out James better nature, which we didn't often see." Nemo nuzzled against his wife. "But it's there. I've seen flashes of it. There is a good man in him, one that can come out."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Is that why you stayed with him?" Madeline asked. The scene shifted, again returning to Metamor Keep. Now it was the present day, everyone including James was cursed.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Metamor Keep has thrived despite its curse." Nemo said. "In its walls I see the best of humanity. This is a place of change, of transformation. And it's where James can be transformed into something better." He clenched his fist. "But someone has to help him and that's me."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You really care about him." Madeline said.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I know he can be better than he is." Nemo said. "I'm going to help him along. Even if I'm cursed myself." He pounded his fist against his side. "I don't know though if I can help."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Why not?" Madeline asked.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I'm...I'm not the right man." Nemo stammered. "I couldn't protect you. I couldn't live up to my responsibilities as a husband and I want to guide this young man? I'm-" Madeline kissed him, leaving Nemo quiet.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You're the man I married." Madeline said. "The man I loved. I spent my entire life with you, for that I have no regrets." Nemo embraced his wife. "Metamor Keep is a place of change is it not?"</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Yes. Your entire life will change here."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"Then it's the place you need to be as well." Madeline said." She looked him square in the eye. "Let it change you into someone who can forgive himself. Forgive yourself. You are my knight."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I don't know if I can." Nemo whispered. She nuzzled her face into his chest and for a moment Nemo felt her heart beating.</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"You have to try." </div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>A bright white light lit up, interrupting the two. Madeline turned towards it with a dreamy smile on her face. "I'm afraid that's for me."</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>"Don't go." Nemo whispered. "Stay with me."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I can't. I can't come back." She began to walk away but Nemo stubbornly held her hand. "You can come to me but I can never return to you."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I will." Nemo swore. "I will see you again."</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>"I know my love." Her hand slipped out of his grip. The light overwhelmed Nemo until he had to shield his vision. "Good-bye my beloved Sir-</div>
<div><span class="" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div>
<div>Nemo opened his eyes.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
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