<div dir="ltr"><div>Part 4b of Blossom.</div><div> </div><div>----</div><div> </div><div> Lori felt dizzy as she stepped forward. The weight of Benjamin's words had finally hit her. Now that she saw her best friend Nancy with her own eyes, dressed as if for a sacrifice, did she realize what she and Benjamin intended. It was only because Benjamin held her hand and led her onward did her feet move. Her eyes lifted up to the sky and the stars so far, far above. The trees seemed now like a wall surrounding her, the clearing now ready to capture whatever unholy spirit was ready to rain on them from above. "Lori…" Nancy said as she met her at the end of the tree limb. "Thank Eli you made it. I didn't know if you would." Lori nodded, barely able to do much else. "No one told me. You never told me." Nancy gave an embarrassed smile. "You're right. I should have told you. But… I was afraid." She nodded up at Tom, apparently the signal for him to disappear into the woods. "I thought it would work with just me, Benjamin, and Tom. I wasn't going to tell you, until after it was done. I know you never cared much about magic…" "I didn't think YOU cared about magic!" Lori stammered. "You're a Patildor!" "My parents are Patildors," Nancy corrected her. "I'm just… a follower." "But… your god…" "Is a merciful god," Nancy said. "There will be time for him to forgive me, after the curse." "All these symbols…" Lori said. Her mind was racing between one thing and the next, struggling to keep up. "Benjamin's studied the basics of rune magic," Nancy continued. "They're nothing fancy… Just to focus whatever natural energy is here in the forest. That's for Benjamin's spell. Your role in this, though, is just as important..." "My role? MY role?!" Lori said. "Benjamin said I'm to watch you… watch all this..." "Lori, please, I wouldn't have asked you here if I didn't need you." Nancy paused for a moment. "Do you remember the time we ran away from home?" Lori stared at her and slowly nodded. It happened when she and Nancy were about seven. Lori had always had a vivid imagination, and one night she heard too many stories about Lutins attacking the Keep, ambushing from the forest. One particularly bad nightmare later, she made a promise with Nancy that they would flee southward, find a kindly farming couple who would take them in, and raise them away from the horrible land of Metamor. It was a few weeks later when Nancy suddenly surprised Lori with two bags of bread and a couple fruits, and a plan to run away that very second, along the Metamor River until they reached Laselle, and then along the road to Menth or until they found the farming couple. Lori did what any brash seven-year-old would do, and ran off with her for adventure. They didn't make it past the first hill, of course. One of the farmhands spotted them on the horizon and told Lori's mother, who sent out a team of horsemen to cut the girls off before they even saw the river, and send them back to their parents for a stern talking-to. They never attempted to run off again, but Lori never forgot the promise they made soon after: that when they left Metamor, it would be together. "I didn't forget, either," Nancy said. "And I've never told anyone else, either." She glanced at Benjamin, who quietly left Lori to go around the circle and inspect the runes. "I knew what it meant. We'd both have to be gender morphs, or child morphs. I know how much it still matters to you to be a gender morph. And I want you to be that way, and be happy." She paused. The bag tried to squirm free in her arms, and she hugged onto it tighter. "Nancy…" Lori said. "I couldn't tell you, at first, because I knew how much it meant to you. I thought… at first I was just curious. I asked Benjamin about the curse, because he knows so much. I didn't want anyone to know I was looking at magic. That's what they say, right? Those who look into the curse are tainted by it. I guess I thought, if Benjamin looked into it... Well… then after Mallory changed, I thought, there's not much time left. If I'm going to do something..." "Nancy, I…" "I can't stop thinking about it, Lori. I can't be a man. I can't do it. I want to be a woman, and a mother. And after I spent my whole childhood, wishing we could both be men together, soldiers-at-arms with each other's backs… I keep wondering if it's too late, or if it's already been decided. I don't really know… how important it is for you to be a man. For you to want me to be a man." Tears blossomed in her eyes. She looked down, trying to keep Lori from seeing them, but Lori did see them. There was a long silence as Nancy held her breath to keep from sobbing. Only the casual drone of crickets, and the occasional croak of a frog, disturbed the air. Not even Benjamin dared a scuffle, and if Tom was in the forest, he may as well have been a shadow. "You're my friend, Lori. That's more important than any curse." "I feel like a fool, Lori," Nancy said, trying her best to collect herself. "Benjamin tells me this might work… that there's a chance, if it isn't already fixed, that this might help give me the curse I want. The curse I need. So… I need you to help me believe that it will work." Lori bowed her head. Her own eyes were getting moist. She hadn't thought of that promise for years. Back then, the curse was so distant, and the future so far away, it didn't feel like it could really affect them. But now… For a long minute, both of them were quiet. From across the circle, Benjamin checked the same symbol for the sixth time, glancing at them or the sky above, pensive about the hour's lateness. "I'll do it," Lori said. "Please, no. If it's only because I said something…" "No, I mean it. I'll do it. I'll watch. I thank you for trusting me with this… secret. Just tell me what I'm watching." Nancy allowed herself to nod. "Just keep your eyes on me. And keep that promise of ours in your head, that we'll leave together. That'll help it." She turned to Benjamin briefly, long enough for him to stand to make his way back, before she turned back. "Only thing you have to do. Don't blink. Keep your eyes on me, and don't blink, or flinch, no matter what happens, until the ceremony has ended." Lori nodded. "I can do that. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll do it." Nancy swallowed and fingered the edges of the twine-tied bag. "I wish I could tell you what to expect, but I can't. Not knowing is part of the ritual. Just keep watching, as soon as it begins." "Once I start speaking," Benjamin finished for her. "No smiles, no laughter, no distractions. All three of us need to focus. This is no blossom ceremony here. We all need to act like adults. It's a very serious affair, understood?" The two girls nodded. Despite his own words, Benjamin shivered with excitement. "Okay then. You know what you need to do, Nancy." Nancy nodded. A bit reluctantly, she slipped out of her robe, leaving her naked in the night air. "Do you have the stone?" Lori held it up. "Good. Hold tight to it as you watch. There should be some reserve of power within it. Just imagine yourself drawing from it whenever you need the strength." Nancy stepped across the wooden plank. "Stay outside the circle. You'll be guiding the energies inward, you see. Sitting right there is fine." Lori finally felt the chill in the air again as she sat on the chilly damp silt. Nancy sat in the center circle, and Benjamin lifted the tree limb straight upward and tossed it aside. Benjamin backed up a stride or two, and with a running start, he leapt over the inner circle and onto the rock, nearly falling onto Nancy. Lori sighed with relief. She didn't know what would happen if he had slammed onto the runic circles, and she didn't want to find out. She closed her eyes and wiped them off one last time. She'd be ready. Her eyes were open. Nancy was kneeling, the animal in her bag still stirring. Benjamin stood straight and erect and still, facing outward, away from Lori and Nancy. All was quiet, save the naked woods around them. It's like the start of a dance, Lori thought. She stifled an urge to blink, and clenched the rock. She squeezed her eyes in a bit, to get some last moisture in. But she would not blink. She would keep this promise. "Great forest!" Benjamin called out. "Sentinel from time immemorial, silent watcher upon the land, we come before you in dark of night to humbly ask your aid!" His words echoed into the forest. Gone was the hesitancy and uncertainty that often marked Benjamin's speech. Here was the voice of a man who wished command and respect from a world far greater and older than he. The woods seemed to grow even quieter. Nancy made no movement; Lori stifled her own shivers. "I, speaker of energies and forces unseen, present your servant. She calls to you in her own voice." He gestured to Nancy, who loudly spoke: "Nancy, your humble servant, requests your watch upon her." Benjamin continued. "I, guardian of town and home, present your witness. She watches silently from afar. We ask you, great land, to meet her gaze, and see your servant as she does. This we humbly beg." Lori's eyes started to itch. Would spirits really be traveling down her eyes and onto Nancy? It seemed just possible enough to happen. So much could happen in Metamor. But all she needed to happen was keeping her eyes from blinking. "Great forest, warm blanket upon the earth, for seventeen winters you have carried three burdens upon the backs of your people. Your servant reaches for one of your burdens, great land. She presents you with a gift, as a symbol of the burden she wishes." Nancy loosened the bag and pulled it down, exposing the head of a badger, who growled unhappily in its prison. Nancy kept her hands around its neck, preventing its claws from scratching her through the bag. "Through this animal runs the life force of your forest. With her own hands, she chooses the fate of your creature. In your gaze lies the fate of your servant. We ask you to make this exchange." Lori's eyes were getting very dry now, and the biting chill of the air made it all the harder to keep them open. More than once she panicked that her eyes had fluttered shut, and forced them even wider. How hard it was to fight that natural impulse to blink! The rock did help, though. It didn't seem like it was real magic at all, but it did give her some physical attachment to the ceremony, and it did seem like the more she squeezed it, the stronger her willpower to not blink was. Her eyes suddenly noticed Nancy's hands tightening around the bag. The badger was struggling fiercely, twisting its jaws around to reach for her arms. She squeezed her legs against the badger's, and leaned forward with one arm holding it straight, so her other arm... No. The badger was hissing now, sending hot spittle across the mud as it fought to get its teeth on Nancy's fingers. Nancy herself groaned as she squeezed the cord around its neck, pinning its jaw back with her other hand. The animal convulsed and lashed out with all its strength, its muffled cry stretching into a wordless whining wail. The critter made one desperate kick for freedom, knocking Nancy off her feet. Her arm slipped, and the wild badger found soft flesh. Lori's mouth hung open. This was the friend whom she'd given a promise to not look away, to not blink. If she could, she would have. If not for knowing how much it mattered… Nancy thrusted the animal between her legs, freeing both her hands, and she seized its neck before its claws could work itself from its canvas. She pushed one way, trying to break its spine, before she could grab it tightly with both hands to wring its neck. From its tiny mouth, it screamed -- a long harsh death-cry that pierced the heart of all creation, an inhuman cry of despair, horror, helplessness, vengeance, silence. The bones cracked as Nancy twisted it around again and again, crushing its skull against the flat rock beneath her, her other hand and her legs pinning its canvas-covered body down. The badger hurled feral curses at the girl, lashing with its teeth, the eyes having been crushed by Nancy's repeated jabs. It was a fight to the death for the badger, but a futile one. Any time it got a nip on Nancy's flesh, Nancy would punch its neck so that it let go, enough for Nancy to swing her fist down again for another blow. How many seconds this duel went on, Lori lost count, but it wasn't long until the badger could no longer lift its head up, nor made the slightest gurgling noise. The badger lay there in defeat, while the bleeding Nancy pummeled her fist against it, until the skull cracked under her combined blows. Nancy released her grip, knuckles bruised and bleeding. The badger convulsed once, but only once, and too weak to lay a paw on her. Nancy lay the badger belly-up on the ground, and grabbed the skin on its chest. She yanked and twisted, but her hands slipped on the sweaty musky fur, which even now Lori could distinctly smell through her own sweat. Nancy kept fumbling, ever more desperate to tear open its chest. Benjamin did not move from his pose, but his eyes shifted down towards them. Suddenly, Nancy bent far down, taking the skin by her teeth, and pulled hard, tearing the skin apart like a starved animal. With the chest opened, Nancy searched the badger's cavity, pushing upon the ribcage and yanking out the small, still pulsing organ that bled out immediately. Lori felt her vision start to fade. She bolted her eyelids open and took a breath, realizing she hadn't breathed for several minutes. The stone she held was damp with sweat. Nancy looked a bit queasy as she held the torn, dripping heart. She closed her eyes and lifted it to her mouth, tearing off a chunk and chewing it quickly. Blood dripped from her nose and lips. She nearly gagged on the raw flesh, but after a couple false starts, she finally swallowed the pieces in her mouth. When she spoke, it was with a hoarse, dry voice that only gradually cleared up. "Blood... for blood. Life for life." She convulsed, and quickly swallowed whatever bile was caught in her throat. "One dies so that another may live." Even Benjamin was spooked when Nancy, a Follower, spoke those words cribbed from the Lothanasi dawn ceremony. But once Nancy had finished, he raised his hands and continued. "One life ends, another is yet to begin. The dance of life is born again within this girl's breast. With this sacrifice, we beg you to finish what we have begun. Badger spirit, dwell within this vessel. "That, then, we remember. This, all, we witness. Here, now, we hope. Spirits of the land and sky and wood, direct us down the path we have chosen. Deliver us our destiny, as we might wish it, and as you alone may choose it. May our offering grant peace eternal to those before us, and those ahead, forever with your blessing. "We wait." An eternal silence filled those woods. Lori felt a sweat bead fall from her chin. Her head would not respond, but she finally let her gaze drift to the side, to the runes in the mud, to the tree branches, to the starlit sky above. Surely Nancy and Benjamin were also waiting for some sign that their spell had worked. A gust of wind, or a flash of light, or even a shooting star; but none came. No one was willing to move, nor admit defeat. It could have been an hour, or fifteen minutes, or a few seconds, but Benjamin at last dropped his hands. Nancy lifted herself from the puddle of blood she was kneeling in. Lori finally allowed herself to blink, her eyes still stinging and burning. "Lori…" Nancy called out weakly. "My cloak, please." Lori picked it up and stood. She looked down at the circle and hesitated. "Go ahead," Benjamin said. "You can cross. The circle's done its job." Lori stepped into the circle. Whether it was safe or not, she kept her feet from touching any of the symbols. Her mind, however, was still focused on that animalistic scream, howling as if yet to finish echoing inside her. Benjamin was looking over Nancy's arm, where the badger had bitten her. It was hard to tell which of the blood was Nancy's or the badger's, not until Benjamin had wiped the wound off and inspected it. "It's not deep," he said. "It's barely even bleeding. All it needs is a bandage. Here." He reached over and took the cloak from Lori. The rock fell from Lori's numb fingers as he tore off a strip from the cloak for a makeshift bandage. It seemed like a futile gesture when Nancy's whole body was caked with blood. Nancy and Lori shared looks. Nancy was the first to smile, a hopeful but weak smile. "I'll be fine, Lori. Don't worry." "You killed it." "I did. I know." She grimaced. "I figured you might look away, if you had known..." "You killed it." "It had to be done. It's powerful magic, the curse. Nothing gets its attention like a sacrifice." "Blood magic." "Only to get its attention!" Nancy insisted, a bit hurt by Lori's incredulity. "Only the Moranasi practice death magic." "The Lightbringers do it too!" Lori kept staring at her, drained of emotion. Nancy swallowed as Benjamin began applying the bandage. "Animals die all the time from predators. They kill animals for food. It's their nature, and I am no different than that. I have to take life too. I have to show I'm capable of it. And I… I succeeded. Now I'm fit to join the animal morphs." If Benjamin at all disagreed with those barriers of entry, he showed no sign of it. He did his best to wipe the blood off Nancy's arm, but there was too much of it. Meanwhile, he kept looking up and into the woods, hoping that something, somewhere, would call out to him. He finally wiped his hands on his trousers -- they were already splattered with blood and spit. They would need to be replaced anyway. Lori didn't respond, and Nancy began to worry. With the bandage on, she reached over and looked into her face. "Please forgive me, Lori. Won't you?" Her own eyes were brimming with tears. Lori hugged Nancy. What did it matter that Nancy was naked or covered in blood, or had been part of such a terrifying magic ceremony, or that the watchful eye of the animal curse was fixed upon her? She acted without thinking, without understanding, with the only knowledge being that a hug always made things better -- and with the cold air prickling both girls' wet skin, it certainly helped to have someone warm in each other's arms. Lori and Nancy both started crying from their own exhausted efforts, though Lori gave in to louder sobs, washing away her sore eyes, giving voice to her unknown horrors. Nancy just wept quietly, a newfound sense of regret inside of her for involving Lori in the gruesome tableau. Benjamin cleared his throat, after a minute or two of their grief, to get their attention. "The spell isn't over yet, you know." Nancy quickly got silent, and Lori managed to quiet her sobs. "What do you mean?" Benjamin looked around. "We have drawn the inertial energies here to what we've done. The spirits now watch us, but they need time to act. You, Nancy, need to stay in the circle. The runes may be useless now, but the circle will serve as an anchor to bring them in." Nancy seemed accepting, but Lori looked up, baffled. "She has to stay here? In the woods? Alone?" "Tom will be keeping watch of these woods, to make sure she stays alone. Your part, and mine, is done. We should leave, and let the spell take its due course." Lori looked at the wretched-looking Nancy. "You can't just leave her like this." She shut a look at Benjamin. "Or is that another thing the Maldori did? Leave people behind in the cold?" Benjamin hesitated. "I only know what I heard." He was uncomfortable to admit it. "The stories describe the whole village gathering, the basic words… but the village always leaves in the end. The shaman leaves to watch over the village..." "And who watches the maiden? Didn't you say that this is when Nancy is at her most vulnerable?" Benjamin opened his mouth, but was unsure what to say. Nancy spoke up. "You don't have to stay, Lori. In the end, I have to face this myself." "No!" Lori said forcefully. "No, no, you don't." She sat down on the ground beside her. "A promise is a promise." Nancy nodded and smiled, a warm smile that already warmed her spirit. Benjamin shook his head. "You can do what you want. I'm going home. Your parents will expect me at the farm early tomorrow. Make sure you're there and cleaned up. It's your decision, Nancy, however long you want to stay." "Till sunrise," Nancy said. "And if Lori is still here, Ben, tell them that she paid me a visit that morning. Don't let her take the blame." Benjamin nodded, uncertainly. Benjamin was well-liked by Twone, but he had never had friends his age like Lori or Nancy did, for he'd always grown up in the shadow of his family estate. Lori wished the gorilla could stay too, but she was also glad that, finally, she and Nancy could share some time alone. He left the clearing and climbed the short hill, his heavy footsteps disappearing into the shadows. Nancy huddled on top of her cloak, glancing at the dead badger beside her. "Poor little thing," she said, half to herself. "Tom tells me she was ten months old. Almost but not quite old enough to have kits. Exactly the way she needed to be, for me." She swallowed. "I was hoping for a wolf, myself. I've always wanted to have packmates." "I see." Nancy shivered. "I should have asked Benjamin to bring my clothes here. I left them by the creek, where Tom cleans his weapons. But I can't leave. How well do you know the woods, Lori?" "Not very. Especially not at night. Maybe in the morning, we'll go there." She looked at her clothes, stained by blood. "I need to wash my clothes, too. That was foolish of me." "No, I'm glad you did. I needed it." Nancy lay back, looking up at the stars. "I almost can't believe I did that. You know how many raw hearts Tom has been feeding me?" "I don't want to know," Lori said. "We practiced a lot. What I worried over most was if I could pull it out. Ripping open an animal without a knife isn't easy, with all the muscles and bones." She stopped. "I forgot how uncomfortable it must be to watch." Lori said nothing at first, and listened to the night crickets chirp a bit. "Do you really think an animal morph has to be a killer?" "Well, a child isn't a killer. And only an animal would eat a still-beating heart." Lori nodded. "It was a good performance." "And powerful, wasn't it? What an impression it must've made. I hope the spirits are impressed by it." Lori leaned back, joining her friend in the mud, watching the sky. "Do you really believe the spirits guide the curse? That it isn't under the Daedra's command? Or Eli's?" Nancy sighed. "My parents think it's Eli's. The priest says it's the Daedra's. Benjamin thinks it's the spirits. Ophelia thinks they're all right, and all wrong, whenever it's convenient for them." "And what do you believe in?" Nancy did not respond. They watched the stars together for a long time. Lori felt a bit chilly, and pressed against Nancy for warmth. Both were getting tired, yet neither was willing to sleep. "Nancy, do you ever wonder… if the Aedra are all just parts of Eli, in disguise? If maybe we worship the same god, you and I?" "That would be a cruel joke, if He were." Nancy spoke quietly, as if unwilling to disturb the cold night air. "Though I always liked the thought that Eli needs us more than we need Him." She spoke even softer now, as if the thought itself were dangerous. "How far do you think the sky is?" Lori shrugged. "Probably farther than the sea is deep." "Sometimes I wonder… They say that Eli is terrifying to behold, both fully human and fully divine, and his servants can take any form, whether mundane or many-eyed beings. What if all those stars up there are the eyes of Eli? What if each one was looking at someone, somewhere in the world? What if that blackness is his skin, and it is Eli's face up there, turning as He watches us, holding us flat against the earth, all of us unaware of how much greater, vaster, powerful He is..." Lori found the thoughts confusing and unpleasant, so she shut her eyes without responding. After a few moments, she felt Nancy's wet body curl up against her. It wasn't long before sleep took her, her skin covered in goosebumps. </div></div>