[Vfw-times] tsa-talk@lists.integral.org

[Oren Otter]

Remember the "Hitler and the Genie" contest?  Well, here, at last, is the
prize story.  It's taken me a year to write it, but never fear.  It's short.
Congratulations, Caleb.

Caleb and Belle
by Oren the Otter

	"Come in, Mrs. McCalley." said the psychiatrist as he did his best to look
casual and nonchalant.
	"Lets do be quick about this." said the woman.  "I have a tennis lesson at
four."
	"Right.  What I wanted to do was simply go over the facts of your
daughter's case.  Sort of play 'what do we know' with them."
	"So what do we know?"
	"Beginning on September seventh, 1999, Belle McCalley awoke with a
completely different personality.  The most alarming aspect of which was an
apparent memory loss."
	"That's right!  She didn't recognize me, she didn't recognize the house...
I had to hold her hand and take her through the house, showing her where
everything is."
	"Secondary is her attitude toward her... ah... responsibilities."
	"That's right.  She used to hate going to those beauty pageants and
modeling sessions.  I told her that they were for her own good, of course,
that they would help her in future life, and that..."
	"Mrs. McCalley?"
	"Sorry."
	"Since September seventh, Belle's attitude has been one of..."
	"Relish!  She absolutely loves those things, now.  She says she's going to
grow up to be a movie star someday."
	"A healthy ambition for a young lady."
	"She also insists that she's going to carry on a personal crusade to rid
the world of the undead."
	"Which is not.  Still, it is relatively normal behavior next to the
unusual quirks which she has begun to display."
	"Tell me about it.  Whenever she gets confused, which is often now, she
sits down and scratches her ear."
	"That's..."
	"With her foot!"
	"Yes..."
	"And her eating habits... It's almost impossible anymore to get her to use
silverware."
	Mrs. McCalley, I think that there is something very unusual going on,
here.  At one point, I questioned your daughter while under the influence
of Sodium Pentathol..."
	"Truth serum?" the woman shouted.  "You used truth serum on my daughter?"
	"Not to worry.  Your insurance covers the cost."
	"Oh.  All right."
	"This is what she told me."  He hit the "play" button on a tape-recorder.
	"What is your name, Miss?" asked the doctor's voice.
	"My name is Belle McCalley." said the tired voice of a little girl.
	"Good."
	"Before that, I was Caleb J. Tailwagger."
	"Who is... was... Caleb J. Tailwagger?"
	"I was a dog.  I was a pirate."
	"I see.  You were a pirate's dog?"
	"Don't be silly.  I was a pirate who happened to be a dog."
	"If that is true, then how did you become a little girl?"
	"I made a wish.  A little sprite with pointy ears came and told me that he
would grant my wish and turn me into a little girl who would grow up to be
a T.V. star."
	The doctor hit the "stop" button.  "Mrs. McCalley, your daughter is unable
to distinguish fantasy from reality.  She has delusions of grandeur, and is
potentially unstable.  I don't believe that she'd stand a chance outside of
an environment where she is constantly watched and catered to.  In other
words..."
	"She's perfect actress material!"
	"Exactly.  I'll phone in some favors and get her a screen test at once."

	* * *

	Somewhere off the coast of the Otterman Empire, Belle McCalley gazed out
over the waters of the great blue main.  Perking her ears, HIS ears now, he
looked over at Mi, the sprite, and asked  "So what happened to the guy whose
place I took?"
    	"Caleb?  Right now, he's on his way... HER way to becoming a famous T.V.
star.  Eventually, she'll land the leading role in 'Lisa the Zombie
Whacker'.  Plus, she'll be adored by millions more as a star of dozens of
successful movies in the new millennium."
   	"Blech.  Not for me." said Belle, wagging his tail.  "I'd much rather be a
pirate."
	"Well," said Mi. "I'm sure you'll enjoy your life on the Fuzzy Doom.  Now
if you'll excuse me, there's a donkey down in East Equestria who just made
a wish to be a whale.  Duty Calls!



-Oren the Otter
8=-3
tlhaQ biQ Ha'DIbaH
The Changing Workplace: http://www.geocities.com/duster_skunk/strips.htm