[Vfw-times] The Super Hero Story Reproduces!

Hedonism hedonism at transfur.com
Tue Mar 28 16:35:43 CST 2000

I'm gonna get this story out quick before I change my mind. Apologies to any
who wish I did first :) It's my first actionny superhero-style thing! This
story was inspired by both the song in the story (the lyrics of which I
probably don't have correct :) ) and Karva Iguana's Nice Rack (Har de har. I
mean Karva's story, Nice Rack :) )

More parts may follow.


By Hedonism

It was dark, despite the best efforts of the streetlamps. Rebecca walked
down the deserted street, head bobbing mysteriously to the beat being fed
intravenously from her walkman to her mind. Her handbag swung gently back
and forth.

"Go on, just one more time."
She didn't say those words, no-one else heard them, and they didn't come
from her CD player, it's sound orbiting out tinnily. Rebecca had been
hearing that voice since childhood, when the, ahem, dreaded monster under
her bed had slid out, introduced itself and turned somehow into her
invisible friend, then tenaciously hung onto existence into her adulthood.

"Sorry, Figment. We're going onto the next one. I already played Sway twice

"It's called Mucho Mambo really, you know."

Rebecca didn't reply, and Figment went quiet, just swaying in Rebecca's mind
's eye. The little reptile friend, Figment, enjoyed the other 17 songs on
the CD more than she was indicating with her vast preference for the first
one only.

Apart from this and other odd little foibles, the voice had no other
particular impact on her life, apart from being handy to talk to during the
more boring days at the library. She had no idea how you went about getting
rid of an imaginary childhood entity anyway.

Rebecca turned into an even darker alleyway. She twitched almost visibly
when Figment, also known as Hedonism, also known as That Parasite, danced.
Figment was Rebecca's name for the invisible friend, and had been since she
had encountered it at five years of age, under her bed. Hedonism was what
the creature much preferred to be called, despite it being just as
stup-silly a name. Parasite was more her description, due to her insistence
that she dwelt within Rebecca. It sounded like a great name to call her when
she was pissed, but Figment actually liked it.

The librarian suddenly looked around. The alleyway had opened out into a
wide area, a basketball court. The talk with her imaginary friend had caused
her to turn down the wrong pathway.

There was a dark group on one side, and a bizarrely colourful group on the
other. Two neighbourhood gangs. Chains dangled leisurely from fists, bricks
were hoisted. On her left, the men wore bewildering colours that almost hurt
the eyes. The other side wore black, black, black. They were quiet, which is
why she didn't hear them. But they weren't on their best behaviour.

Rebecca looked around wildly.

"Look, can't you see we're having a match?" drawled the tallest man on the
team in black. "We'll see to you later, we're busy right now!"

The side in black laughed. There was even some chuckles from the colours,
though hatred between the two was palpable. Rebecca nodded meekly and
stepped backwards.

"No, stay right there!" shouted the leader of the colours. If garishness was
a gauge of rulership, he was also their emperor. He was massive, his
psychadelic rags hanging off heavy biceps.

Already, members of both gangs were approaching her, at the same time
staring warily at the opposition. The blacks swung shut the gate into the
court she had entered through, and all the other exits were padlocked.

"Look," Rebecca stammered, "I'll leave my stuff here, just let me out?"

"Enough talking. Get off our patch," snarled the blacks leader, to the
colours. He was built like a basketballer, a tower of muscle.

The gangs, about ten men apiece, were closing into each other, and wherever
Rebecca was in no-man's land.

"Whoah! Rebs, play that song!" said Figment. Rebecca stammered
nonsensically. The reptile friend's voice sounded very serious, and urgent.

"Oh god, they're coming for me! Or each other, I don't know! Move over,
Figment, I wanna hide in there with you!" She blurted it out aloud. The
colours leader spun a six foot long chain over his head, and laughed

"You're already in here with me. Please, play Sway, and relax."

Rebecca's hand slid to the CD player and she reset it to the first track.
She almost gibbered with fear until the first track settled into gear.

"Yessssss,sssssssssss." Rebecca hissed. She looked down at herself with
confusion, as peace broke out in her mind, and a new sensation crept in,
love of the song. She bobbed as the beat came in, shook mechanically. The
basketballer came in with a wide hand to push her to the floor.

A claw flashed out, green and scaly, open palmed, turned the hand aside and,
to the beat, Rebecca slid aside and swung out a long leg to sweep him to the

"When marimba rhythm starts to play," she uttered to the tune, her voice
higher, as her arms and legs became sheathed in the same scales that
decorated her hands. Her face stretched, her teeth sharpened. She
pirouetted, leapt into the air, grasped a colours gangbanger by his hair and
leapt to deliver both feet to his face.

"Dance with me, make me sway."

she beckoned to a surprised blacks, then dodged a swinging chain, spun her
hind talons around and closed it around her attacker's leg, hauled it
upwards and watched him kiss the concrete. A fist caught her back and an
earpiece fell free, suddenly plunging the court into rich, powerful dance
music, far too loud to issue from any walkman, but issuing just the same.

Hedonism hid Rebecca in her mind like the human wanted and took over
completely. The punch caused her to cannon into a heap of colours, and she
felt an elbow thump down on her back. The owner of the elbow was momentarily
confused to feel his blow ineffectually hit solid scaly hide and muscle,
then a long neck swing around a blissfully smiling reptilian head into his
face. He was unconscious before he hit the pavement.

"Hold me close, swing me more."

Hedonism was singing along with the walkman. Completely. Including backing
instruments and all effects. Perfectly as a synthesiser.

She ducked a hurtling brick, as a lizardlike tail sprouted from under her
dress, swung up and slammed sideways, hooking the thrower and smashing him
into two others. She became a brief blur as she followed him, two wide
draconic wings unfurling and shredding her blouse, propelling her body into
five thugs. She lept aside as a crowbar swung down and connected with the
wrong body.

She flipped to her feet, and surveyed the damage from her seven foot height.
Half of the gang's numbers were on the floor. The rest just looked at her
with puzzled dread. The blouse had torn away, and her athletic, hugely
muscled body stretched against the few clothes left. Her very plentiful
chest was now only obscured by an overstretched bra. The embarrassment of
being turned on by a big girl-lizard was probably adding to the shame of
getting their collective asses kicked by one.

Hedonism's hair surged and writhed, then suddenly condensed into a writhing
nest of snakes, growing from her head. The lizardwoman closed her eyes and
smiled, blissful in the music that surrounded her.

The basketball giant got to his feet, and his hands clutched a lump of
masonry the size of a cannonball. With her back turned to him, he stepped
forward, swung his long arm and hurtled it to her in a classic basketball
pass capable of breaking a spine. Her hand casually slid behind her back and
she caught it with barely a shudder. The serpents that had seen him throw it
looked placidly on as she turned around, and clutched the cement projectile
tightly. She spun it on one clawtip, then grasped it with both hands and
clutched it to her chest. Her thick muscles bulged as she readied to pass it
back at light speed. Her eyes followed him as he stepped backwards, then ran
in terror, only to bounce off the court fence.

"Ohgodno, don't killme!"

Hedonism smiled blissfully and lobbed the masonry high. It hit the hoop,
spun in the air, hit it again then tumbled downwards without going through.

"Damn!" cried Hedonism, over the tune, as the impromptu ball bounced off the
basketballer's face and he settled to the ground, to an early night's sleep.

Suddenly a long metal pipe slammed through her back, running into her body
and rupturing out of the other side. The music died and she screamed
shrilly, swaying as the colours leader looked down with amazement at the
wound he couldn't possibly have caused with the blunt weapon. The lizard's
head inclined around on her long neck, as the rest of her writhed on the

"Ohgod! I didn't mean to."

"When... Marimba, rhythm, starts, to play. Dance with me, make me sway."

She grinned, her teeth dreadful, saliva drenched spikes. The pole he still
held shuddered and bent to the sound of steel being mangled, and the wounds
surrounding it on both sides turned into reddened, fleshy maws. The metal
was wrenched free of his hands, bent and buckled as the mouths bit into it,
slipped horrible black tongues around the length, drew more in, bit again,
and consumed the steel like it was a length of spaghetti. The mouths
finished their meal and closed. The sound of metal being crushed and
masticated could be heard above the sound of her song, starting up again.

"Like the lazy ocean masks the shore, hold me close, swing me more."

Hedonism grasped the colours leader with a lashing talon, whipped him
towards her and slammed his face into her left breast, knocking him out

She surveyed the remaining gangbangers. They backed away, as one, to the
other side of the court. As her song settled into the instrumentation, she
looked at the fallen, diagnosed their injuries and found none were serious.
She flapped her wings wildly, and leapt into the air.

The gang members watched her, some dumbfounded, some afraid of what she
would do next, some trying to look under her skirt.

"What the hell was that, Sweed?" said a colours to a blacks, as he limped to
his feet. The monster had flown out of sight.

"I don't know. Is Satan female? Was a great fight though."

"Yeah, it was. Let's have another next week."

"I'll put it to Markie. Do you think we can get her back for it? Maybe we
can do something more organised."

The colours smiled to Sweed. This looked like it could be another great
another gang war legend for the Society for Creative Anarchism to recreate.

* * * * * * * * * *

Rebecca woke up. It was seven in the morning, and she was in bed. What did
she need to do today? Oh yes, have a chat to Figment. Shouldn't be to hard
to find her.

"What happened yesterday, Figment?"

"Just a dream, Rebecca," said a chirpy voice. Figment was always better at
mornings than her host.

"That was too vivid to be a dream. I'll call you Hedonism all day if you
tell me the truth."

There was a pause.

"It really happened. I'm. I'm sorry, Rebecca," said the voice, solemnly.

"I didn't mean to ruin your dress. I got carried away."

By Hedonism

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