[Mkguild] MK story - Burying a friend

[Michael Olson]

A cloth sleeve was held up to the paladins chest but he saw no trace
of and hand in those voluminous sleeves.
(paladins chest -> paladin's chest)

* The image of them all dyed in black is indeed strange, and a nice touch :)

This was all the Long Scouts, even the ones who should have been in
bed recovering from their wounds.
(These were all)

No footfalls, no voices, not even the soft ruffle of cloth broke the silence.

* Another neat feat that's probably available to few other groups

After an eternity of moving through the haunted halls they reached a
door made of wood and iron, long weathered and rusted. Despite the
corrosion the door swung open on rusted and corroded hinges without a
sound.
(The double use of rust and corrosion are a bit close together.  One
of each should be eliminated)

the swords hilt, ivory
(swords -> sword's, don't know if the comma is necessary)

The figure, the bier it rested on and the floor of the entire room was
covered with flowers of all colors and shapes.
(optional comma after rested on would be a good idea in my opinion,
was covered -> were covered)

Only when the last of the procession was in there appointed place did
the four carrying the coffin move.
(there -> their)

Misha took the offered weapon and broke that was well.
* How does one break a sword?

. But I never lost any as close as Craig or Llyn."
(A true sentence, but it doesn't seem to fit with the overall point of
the paragraph)

"Personally I've always had problems with betrayal. The groups I was
raised in always promoted loyalty above all else.
(These two sentences seemed to conflict to me at first.  I thought the
first was referring to actual instances of betrayal until I paused and
reread)

* A decent short.  The funeral gave an opportunity to showcase a lot
of atmosphere.  I think the highlight of the tale though was that
moment where Misha spoke to Edmund.  It was a true to Misha moment
where longtime readers could nod their heads and agree that it's the
kind of reaction that makes sense for him.  I wish it had some more
screen time, though I don't know that could be accomplished
effectively.