[Mkguild] MK story - Burying a friend

[Chris]

-----Original Message-----
From: Michael Olson [mailto:michael.k.olson at gmail.com] 


* The image of them all dyed in black is indeed strange, and a nice
touch :)

This was all the Long Scouts, even the ones who should have been in
bed recovering from their wounds.
(These were all)

No footfalls, no voices, not even the soft ruffle of cloth broke the
silence.

* Another neat feat that's probably available to few other groups

After an eternity of moving through the haunted halls they reached a
door made of wood and iron, long weathered and rusted. Despite the
corrosion the door swung open on rusted and corroded hinges without a
sound.


>>>>Thanks. I went for a creepy feeling in this scene. I wanted people
to be creeped out. And the fact that everyone is silent has NOTHING to
do with them being scouts. And does anyone wonder what is underneath all
those robes? After all no part of the creatures actually show.




Misha took the offered weapon and broke that was well.
* How does one break a sword?

>>>> You lay the flat of the blade over your knee and press down on the
hilt and point at the same time. Swords are not meant to withstand so
much pressure sideways on the blade.





. But I never lost any as close as Craig or Llyn."
(A true sentence, but it doesn't seem to fit with the overall point of
the paragraph)

"Personally I've always had problems with betrayal. The groups I was
raised in always promoted loyalty above all else.
(These two sentences seemed to conflict to me at first.  I thought the
first was referring to actual instances of betrayal until I paused and
reread)

* A decent short.  The funeral gave an opportunity to showcase a lot
of atmosphere.  I think the highlight of the tale though was that
moment where Misha spoke to Edmund.  It was a true to Misha moment
where longtime readers could nod their heads and agree that it's the
kind of reaction that makes sense for him.  I wish it had some more
screen time, though I don't know that could be accomplished
effectively.

>>>Same with me. That's the reason it sat unfinished for so long. I just
could not figure out how to add more to it. 

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