[Mkguild] Two for the Price of One. Part 1 of 4

[Kit]

Well I think that the extra information about the barter spell should go
right where he uses it. It seems to me that the easiest way to do this is
show how the spell notices he's lying and then use a combination of the
spell and your character's experience to say that he probably upped the
price by such and such amount. Show that he uses this spell as a tool and
not a crutch basically. As for his statement to George, he should probably
belie that as he says it. Finally, the extra information about his past
should probably be scattered throughout the story to avoid excess
exposition, but I'd suggest putting a chunk of it together to explain why
he's so powerful for an apprentice and how he learned all these spells.
Mention he altered the spells to fit him better, but leave out the alternate
source of power until later because you're right, that's not something you
want to reveal right away. As for where to put this chunk? I think the best
place would be where he says he's only an apprentice in the first place.
He's technically an apprentice, BUT he's done all this self study, etc.
Having actually finished the whole story by now, I'd like to end by saying
it's a very nice one and I was glad to see that one or two fears of mine
stemming from the first part were unjustified and did not come to pass in
parts two, three, and four. I look forward to the final version and any
other future works of yours.

Kit
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