[Mkguild] Life I: What Came After - A

[Jack Moore]

AN: Finally can post more now that I'm done editing my last stories. How
does the dialogue sound? I'm mixed on it.

Life I: What Came After - A

To my friend in the North
Where do I start on this story? Because it’s not just my story.  It’s one
day, and it belongs to everyone who lived it. What’s interesting is that I
doubt most people would remember this particular day. It was just another
in a long procession, all the same.
But for me this is when things changed.
It’s a series of small moments that I have tried to record for posterities
sake.  It’s been years since this happened but I can remember it.  The cold
air, the people milling everywhere and...and the cold air on my bare scales.
Eli how wonderful it was to survive.  To be young.
Pardon me, I know I ramble.  I just feel so many emotions being back in
that time.  Fear, horror, sorrow, misery, ecstasy, hope and an endless joy.
I know in a story with Peccavi that endless joy seems impossible.  But on
this day everything can happen.  This was the day I became fully summed.
Today the Ragman returned for me.

Above all else this is the day I met the woman who would define my life for
years.

Wonderful isn’t it?
May Eli bless this venture, as I delve into this tale.


Shortly After Midnight
My mouth felt stuffed with cotton.  And my head like it was stuck in a bowl.
I cracked my eyes open.  Dark as always.  My room had a window, which to my
knowledge it hadn’t when I first arrived. 'In Isenport the rooms stay the
same. My room never grew a bed out of the fucking wall.'

My muscles were just lumps to mirror my aching head. I began to become more
aware of my changed body as my mind emerged from the fog of sleep. I could
feel the claws at the end of my fingers that hadn’t been there a month ago
 Then the tail hanging over the bed, that hadn’t been there two weeks ago.
And then something new.  I reached up for my mouth and found it further out
then it had been a few days ago.
Once this would have sent me into a crying fit.  But right now I felt
nothing.  Just one though; So that’s it.  I’m fully transformed.
“Therrrroooo!” I spit a wave trying to speak. 'Ok this is a lot harder than
I expected.' My mouth felt like someone had jammed extra bones into it. I
ran my tongue over my changed teeth. 'How do lizards talk with these
fucking things?  They don’t dumbass, they’re fucking lizards. Why couldn’t
I have become a hawk?  Like a beak would be much easier.'
My nostrils were different too.  They felt like tears on the upper part of
my mouth, not nostrils at all.  They were actually a lot closer to nares.
It’s funny I had had a nose five days before and somehow missed it
disappearing.
'I’ve had a real fucking long day. So of course I fucking missed that and
I...' Now I started to cry again.  'Fuck me I killed someone. I fucking
killed someone.  I’m a murderer and I fucking killed him and he’s dead and
it’s my fault and fuck fuck fuck!'

And again I was in the woods and that boy was charging at me.  His face
looked like a babe, no he was a babe.  The biggest I’d ever seen, grown to
my size.  His eyes were so scared, so why were his hands around my throat?
'I could have let him choke me to death.' Was I still crying? 'I’d have
been better off if he did. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t fucking do this
and I can’t be a lizard and I fucking killed him
andfuckingshitfuckmeifuckingkilledhimikilledhimiamabastard.'

I screamed.  No words, just primordial emotion.  I sat up and screamed
more.  I slammed my fists into my bed until they ached and screamed.  But
it didn’t do anything.  I collapsed back onto my bed, no better off than
before.
'I killed him. I fucking killed him. But if I didn’t he’d have killed me
 And I’d have still vomited on Sir Egland and still crushed those fucking
crackers and still fallen off that fucking log and still be here.'
I couldn’t see.  My eyes stung so bad I couldn’t hold them open.  I can’t
be here anymore.  This place is everything that’s fucking wrong with my
life.  If I stay here I’m going to fucking die.  It’ll kill me or I’ll kill
myself.
I shook my head. 'But where can I go? I can’t go anywhere of course. I’m
dead remember? I wanted to be fucking dead, I want to be dead please kill
me now!'
And then more screaming.  You’d have thought someone could have heard me
apparently my walls were quite soundproof.  Either way it meant no one
rushed into my room to comfort me. I had to deal with this by myself.
'At home I wouldn’t be alone...I wouldn’t be alone. There would be servants
by the hundred here for me.  And my father...would tell me to shut the fuck
up because I’m in my twenties and crying like a baby.'
My father was an asshole.  I know that’s not apparent, I’ve been rather
subtle about it. But my father is quite possibly the biggest bastard who
ever lived.  And anytime I thought about home I thought about the bastard.
'People respected me there and I didn’t have to kill anyone.' I turned onto
my side, only now noticing I had been on my tail.   I pushed the ache away.
'How much did they respect you though? Your father is the Lord, your mother
was a member of the Imperial family.  You’ve got very powerful people
watching over you.'
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