[Mkguild] Blossom (4b/6)

[Rimme the Weasel]

Part 4b of Blossom.

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Lori felt dizzy as she stepped forward. The weight of Benjamin's words had
finally hit her. Now that she saw her best friend Nancy with her own eyes,
dressed as if for a sacrifice, did she realize what she and Benjamin
intended. It was only because Benjamin held her hand and led her onward did
her feet move. Her eyes lifted up to the sky and the stars so far, far
above. The trees seemed now like a wall surrounding her, the clearing now
ready to capture whatever unholy spirit was ready to rain on them from
above.

"Lori…" Nancy said as she met her at the end of the tree limb. "Thank Eli
you made it. I didn't know if you would."

Lori nodded, barely able to do much else. "No one told me. You never told
me."

Nancy gave an embarrassed smile. "You're right. I should have told you.
But… I was afraid." She nodded up at Tom, apparently the signal for him to
disappear into the woods. "I thought it would work with just me, Benjamin,
and Tom. I wasn't going to tell you, until after it was done. I know you
never cared much about magic…"

"I didn't think YOU cared about magic!" Lori stammered. "You're a Patildor!"

"My parents are Patildors," Nancy corrected her. "I'm just… a follower."

"But… your god…"

"Is a merciful god," Nancy said. "There will be time for him to forgive me,
after the curse."

"All these symbols…" Lori said. Her mind was racing between one thing and
the next, struggling to keep up.

"Benjamin's studied the basics of rune magic," Nancy continued. "They're
nothing fancy… Just to focus whatever natural energy is here in the forest.
That's for Benjamin's spell. Your role in this, though, is just as
important..."

"My role? MY role?!" Lori said. "Benjamin said I'm to watch you… watch all
this..."

"Lori, please, I wouldn't have asked you here if I didn't need you." Nancy
paused for a moment. "Do you remember the time we ran away from home?"

Lori stared at her and slowly nodded. It happened when she and Nancy were
about seven. Lori had always had a vivid imagination, and one night she
heard too many stories about Lutins attacking the Keep, ambushing from the
forest. One particularly bad nightmare later, she made a promise with Nancy
that they would flee southward, find a kindly farming couple who would take
them in, and raise them away from the horrible land of Metamor.

It was a few weeks later when Nancy suddenly surprised Lori with two bags
of bread and a couple fruits, and a plan to run away that very second,
along the Metamor River until they reached Laselle, and then along the road
to Menth or until they found the farming couple. Lori did what any brash
seven-year-old would do, and ran off with her for adventure.

They didn't make it past the first hill, of course. One of the farmhands
spotted them on the horizon and told Lori's mother, who sent out a team of
horsemen to cut the girls off before they even saw the river, and send them
back to their parents for a stern talking-to. They never attempted to run
off again, but Lori never forgot the promise they made soon after: that
when they left Metamor, it would be together.

"I didn't forget, either," Nancy said. "And I've never told anyone else,
either." She glanced at Benjamin, who quietly left Lori to go around the
circle and inspect the runes. "I knew what it meant. We'd both have to be
gender morphs, or child morphs. I know how much it still matters to you to
be a gender morph. And I want you to be that way, and be happy."

She paused. The bag tried to squirm free in her arms, and she hugged onto
it tighter.

"Nancy…" Lori said.

"I couldn't tell you, at first, because I knew how much it meant to you. I
thought… at first I was just curious. I asked Benjamin about the curse,
because he knows so much. I didn't want anyone to know I was looking at
magic. That's what they say, right? Those who look into the curse are
tainted by it. I guess I thought, if Benjamin looked into it...  Well… then
after Mallory changed, I thought, there's not much time left. If I'm going
to do something..."

"Nancy, I…"

"I can't stop thinking about it, Lori. I can't be a man. I can't do it. I
want to be a woman, and a mother. And after I spent my whole childhood,
wishing we could both be men together, soldiers-at-arms with each other's
backs… I keep wondering if it's too late, or if it's already been decided.
I don't really know… how important it is for you to be a man. For you to
want me to be a man."

Tears blossomed in her eyes. She looked down, trying to keep Lori from
seeing them, but Lori did see them. There was a long silence as Nancy held
her breath to keep from sobbing. Only the casual drone of crickets, and the
occasional croak of a frog, disturbed the air. Not even Benjamin dared a
scuffle, and if Tom was in the forest, he may as well have been a shadow.

"You're my friend, Lori. That's more important than any curse."

"I feel like a fool, Lori," Nancy said, trying her best to collect herself.
"Benjamin tells me this might work… that there's a chance, if it isn't
already fixed, that this might help give me the curse I want. The curse I
need. So… I need you to help me believe that it will work."

Lori bowed her head. Her own eyes were getting moist. She hadn't thought of
that promise for years. Back then, the curse was so distant, and the future
so far away, it didn't feel like it could really affect them. But now…

For a long minute, both of them were quiet. From across the circle,
Benjamin checked the same symbol for the sixth time, glancing at them or
the sky above, pensive about the hour's lateness.

"I'll do it," Lori said.

"Please, no. If it's only because I said something…"

"No, I mean it. I'll do it. I'll watch. I thank you for trusting me with
this… secret. Just tell me what I'm watching."

Nancy allowed herself to nod. "Just keep your eyes on me. And keep that
promise of ours in your head, that we'll leave together. That'll help it."
She turned to Benjamin briefly, long enough for him to stand to make his
way back, before she turned back. "Only thing you have to do. Don't blink.
Keep your eyes on me, and don't blink, or flinch, no matter what happens,
until the ceremony has ended."

Lori nodded. "I can do that. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll do it."

Nancy swallowed and fingered the edges of the twine-tied bag. "I wish I
could tell you what to expect, but I can't. Not knowing is part of the
ritual. Just keep watching, as soon as it begins."

"Once  I start speaking," Benjamin finished for her. "No smiles, no
laughter, no distractions. All three of us need to focus. This is no
blossom ceremony here. We all need to act like adults. It's a very serious
affair, understood?"

The two girls nodded. Despite his own words, Benjamin shivered with
excitement.

"Okay then. You know what you need to do, Nancy."

Nancy nodded. A bit reluctantly, she slipped out of her robe, leaving her
naked in the night air. "Do you have the stone?" Lori held it up. "Good.
Hold tight to it as you watch. There should be some reserve of power within
it. Just imagine yourself drawing from it whenever you need the strength."
Nancy stepped across the wooden plank. "Stay outside the circle. You'll be
guiding the energies inward, you see. Sitting right there is fine."

Lori finally felt the chill in the air again as she sat on the chilly damp
silt. Nancy sat in the center circle, and Benjamin lifted the tree limb
straight upward and tossed it aside. Benjamin backed up a stride or two,
and with a running start, he leapt over the inner circle and onto the rock,
nearly falling onto Nancy. Lori sighed with relief. She didn't know what
would happen if he had slammed onto the runic circles, and she didn't want
to find out. She closed her eyes and wiped them off one last time. She'd be
ready.

Her eyes were open. Nancy was kneeling, the animal in her bag still
stirring. Benjamin stood straight and erect and still, facing outward, away
from Lori and Nancy. All was quiet, save the naked woods around them.

It's like the start of a dance, Lori thought. She stifled an urge to blink,
and clenched the rock. She squeezed her eyes in a bit, to get some last
moisture in. But she would not blink. She would keep this promise.

"Great forest!" Benjamin called out. "Sentinel from time immemorial, silent
watcher upon the land, we come before you in dark of night to humbly ask
your aid!"

His words echoed into the forest. Gone was the hesitancy and uncertainty
that often marked Benjamin's speech. Here was the voice of a man who wished
command and respect from a world far greater and older than he. The woods
seemed to grow even quieter. Nancy made no movement; Lori stifled her own
shivers.

"I, speaker of energies and forces unseen, present your servant. She calls
to you in her own voice."

He gestured to Nancy, who loudly spoke: "Nancy, your humble servant,
requests your watch upon her."

Benjamin continued. "I, guardian of town and home, present your witness.
She watches silently from afar. We ask you, great land, to meet her gaze,
and see your servant as she does. This we humbly beg."

Lori's eyes started to itch. Would spirits really be traveling down her
eyes and onto Nancy? It seemed just possible enough to happen. So much
could happen in Metamor. But all she needed to happen was keeping her eyes
from blinking.

"Great forest, warm blanket upon the earth, for seventeen winters you have
carried three burdens upon the backs of your people. Your servant reaches
for one of your burdens, great land. She presents you with a gift, as a
symbol of the burden she wishes."

Nancy loosened the bag and pulled it down, exposing the head of a badger,
who growled unhappily in its prison. Nancy kept her hands around its neck,
preventing its claws from scratching her through the bag.

"Through this animal runs the life force of your forest. With her own
hands, she chooses the fate of your creature. In your gaze lies the fate of
your servant. We ask you to make this exchange."

Lori's eyes were getting very dry now, and the biting chill of the air made
it all the harder to keep them open. More than once she panicked that her
eyes had fluttered shut, and forced them even wider. How hard it was to
fight that natural impulse to blink!

The rock did help, though. It didn't seem like it was real magic at all,
but it did give her some physical attachment to the ceremony, and it did
seem like the more she squeezed it, the stronger her willpower to not blink
was.

Her eyes suddenly noticed Nancy's hands tightening around the bag. The
badger was struggling fiercely, twisting its jaws around to reach for her
arms. She squeezed her legs against the badger's, and leaned forward with
one arm holding it straight, so her other arm...

No.

The badger was hissing now, sending hot spittle across the mud as it fought
to get its teeth on Nancy's fingers. Nancy herself groaned as she squeezed
the cord around its neck, pinning its jaw back with her other hand. The
animal convulsed and lashed out with all its strength, its muffled cry
stretching into a wordless whining wail. The critter made one desperate
kick for freedom, knocking Nancy off her feet. Her arm slipped, and the
wild badger found soft flesh.

Lori's mouth hung open. This was the friend whom she'd given a promise to
not look away, to not blink. If she could, she would have. If not for
knowing how much it mattered…

Nancy thrusted the animal between her legs, freeing both her hands, and she
seized its neck before its claws could work itself from its canvas. She
pushed one way, trying to break its spine, before she could grab it tightly
with both hands to wring its neck.

>From its tiny mouth, it screamed -- a long harsh death-cry that pierced the
heart of all creation, an inhuman cry of despair, horror, helplessness,
vengeance, silence.

The bones cracked as Nancy twisted it around again and again, crushing its
skull against the flat rock beneath her, her other hand and her legs
pinning its canvas-covered body down. The badger hurled feral curses at the
girl, lashing with its teeth, the eyes having been crushed by Nancy's
repeated jabs.

It was a fight to the death for the badger, but a futile one. Any time it
got a nip on Nancy's flesh, Nancy would punch its neck so that it let go,
enough for Nancy to swing her fist down again for another blow. How many
seconds this duel went on, Lori lost count, but it wasn't long until the
badger could no longer lift its head up, nor made the slightest gurgling
noise. The badger lay there in defeat, while the bleeding Nancy pummeled
her fist against it, until the skull cracked under her combined blows.

Nancy released her grip, knuckles bruised and bleeding. The badger
convulsed once, but only once, and too weak to lay a paw on her. Nancy lay
the badger belly-up on the ground, and grabbed the skin on its chest. She
yanked and twisted, but her hands slipped on the sweaty musky fur, which
even now Lori could distinctly smell through her own sweat. Nancy kept
fumbling, ever more desperate to tear open its chest.

Benjamin did not move from his pose, but his eyes shifted down towards
them. Suddenly, Nancy bent far down, taking the skin by her teeth, and
pulled hard, tearing the skin apart like a starved animal. With the chest
opened, Nancy searched the badger's cavity, pushing upon the ribcage and
yanking out the small, still pulsing organ that bled out immediately.

Lori felt her vision start to fade. She bolted her eyelids open and took a
breath, realizing she hadn't breathed for several minutes. The stone she
held was damp with sweat.

Nancy looked a bit queasy as she held the torn, dripping heart. She closed
her eyes and lifted it to her mouth, tearing off a chunk and chewing it
quickly. Blood dripped from her nose and lips. She nearly gagged on the raw
flesh, but after a couple false starts, she finally swallowed the pieces in
her mouth. When she spoke, it was with a hoarse, dry voice that only
gradually cleared up.

"Blood... for blood. Life for life." She convulsed, and quickly swallowed
whatever bile was caught in her throat. "One dies so that another may live."

Even Benjamin was spooked when Nancy, a Follower, spoke those words cribbed
from the Lothanasi dawn ceremony. But once Nancy had finished, he raised
his hands and continued. "One life ends, another is yet to begin. The dance
of life is born again within this girl's breast. With this sacrifice, we
beg you to finish what we have begun. Badger spirit, dwell within this
vessel.

"That, then, we remember. This, all, we witness. Here, now, we hope.
Spirits of the land and sky and wood, direct us down the path we have
chosen. Deliver us our destiny, as we might wish it, and as you alone may
choose it. May our offering grant peace eternal to those before us, and
those ahead, forever with your blessing.

"We wait."

An eternal silence filled those woods. Lori felt a sweat bead fall from her
chin. Her head would not respond, but she finally let her gaze drift to the
side, to the runes in the mud, to the tree branches, to the starlit sky
above. Surely Nancy and Benjamin were also waiting for some sign that their
spell had worked. A gust of wind, or a flash of light, or even a shooting
star; but none came. No one was willing to move, nor admit defeat.

It could have been an hour, or fifteen minutes, or a few seconds, but
Benjamin at last dropped his hands. Nancy lifted herself from the puddle of
blood she was kneeling in. Lori finally allowed herself to blink, her eyes
still stinging and burning.

"Lori…" Nancy called out weakly. "My cloak, please."

Lori picked it up and stood. She looked down at the circle and hesitated.

"Go ahead," Benjamin said. "You can cross. The circle's done its job."

Lori stepped into the circle. Whether it was safe or not, she kept her feet
from touching any of the symbols. Her mind, however, was still focused on
that animalistic scream, howling as if yet to finish echoing inside her.

Benjamin was looking over Nancy's arm, where the badger had bitten her. It
was hard to tell which of the blood was Nancy's or the badger's, not until
Benjamin had wiped the wound off and inspected it. "It's not deep," he
said. "It's barely even bleeding. All it needs is a bandage. Here." He
reached over and took the cloak from Lori. The rock fell from Lori's numb
fingers as he tore off a strip from the cloak for a makeshift bandage. It
seemed like a futile gesture when Nancy's whole body was caked with blood.

Nancy and Lori shared looks. Nancy was the first to smile, a hopeful but
weak smile. "I'll be fine, Lori. Don't worry."

"You killed it."

"I did. I know." She grimaced. "I figured you might look away, if you had
known..."

"You killed it."

"It had to be done. It's powerful magic, the curse. Nothing gets its
attention like a sacrifice."

"Blood magic."

"Only to get its attention!" Nancy insisted, a bit hurt by Lori's
incredulity.

"Only the Moranasi practice death magic."

"The Lightbringers do it too!" Lori kept staring at her, drained of
emotion. Nancy swallowed as Benjamin began applying the bandage. "Animals
die all the time from predators. They kill animals for food. It's their
nature, and I am no different than that. I have to take life too. I have to
show I'm capable of it. And I… I succeeded. Now I'm fit to join the animal
morphs."

If Benjamin at all disagreed with those barriers of entry, he showed no
sign of it. He did his best to wipe the blood off Nancy's arm, but there
was too much of it. Meanwhile, he kept looking up and into the woods,
hoping that something, somewhere, would call out to him. He finally wiped
his hands on his trousers -- they were already splattered with blood and
spit. They would need to be replaced anyway.

Lori didn't respond, and Nancy began to worry. With the bandage on, she
reached over and looked into her face. "Please forgive me, Lori. Won't
you?" Her own eyes were brimming with tears.

Lori hugged Nancy. What did it matter that Nancy was naked or covered in
blood, or had been part of such a terrifying magic ceremony, or that the
watchful eye of the animal curse was fixed upon her? She acted without
thinking, without understanding, with the only knowledge being that a hug
always made things better -- and with the cold air prickling both girls'
wet skin, it certainly helped to have someone warm in each other's arms.

Lori and Nancy both started crying from their own exhausted efforts, though
Lori gave in to louder sobs, washing away her sore eyes, giving voice to
her unknown horrors. Nancy just wept quietly, a newfound sense of regret
inside of her for involving Lori in the gruesome tableau.

Benjamin cleared his throat, after a minute or two of their grief, to get
their attention. "The spell isn't over yet, you know."

Nancy quickly got silent, and Lori managed to quiet her sobs. "What do you
mean?"

Benjamin looked around. "We have drawn the inertial energies here to what
we've done. The spirits now watch us, but they need time to act. You,
Nancy, need to stay in the circle. The runes may be useless now, but the
circle will serve as an anchor to bring them in."

Nancy seemed accepting, but Lori looked up, baffled. "She has to stay here?
In the woods? Alone?"

"Tom will be keeping watch of these woods, to make sure she stays alone.
Your part, and mine, is done. We should leave, and let the spell take its
due course."

Lori looked at the wretched-looking Nancy. "You can't just leave her like
this." She shut a look at Benjamin. "Or is that another thing the Maldori
did? Leave people behind in the cold?"

Benjamin hesitated. "I only know what I heard." He was uncomfortable to
admit it. "The stories describe the whole village gathering, the basic
words… but the village always leaves in the end.  The shaman leaves to
watch over the village..."

"And who watches the maiden? Didn't you say that this is when Nancy is at
her most vulnerable?"

Benjamin opened his mouth, but was unsure what to say.

Nancy spoke up. "You don't have to stay, Lori. In the end, I have to face
this myself."

"No!" Lori said forcefully. "No, no, you don't." She sat down on the ground
beside her. "A promise is a promise."

Nancy nodded and smiled, a warm smile that already warmed her spirit.
Benjamin shook his head. "You can do what you want. I'm going home. Your
parents will expect me at the farm early tomorrow. Make sure you're there
and cleaned up. It's your decision, Nancy, however long you want to stay."

"Till sunrise," Nancy said. "And if Lori is still here, Ben, tell them that
she paid me a visit that morning. Don't let her take the blame."

Benjamin nodded, uncertainly. Benjamin was well-liked by Twone, but he had
never had friends his age like Lori or Nancy did, for he'd always grown up
in the shadow of his family estate. Lori wished the gorilla could stay too,
but she was also glad that, finally, she and Nancy could share some time
alone. He left the clearing and climbed the short hill, his heavy footsteps
disappearing into the shadows.

Nancy huddled on top of her cloak, glancing at the dead badger beside her.
"Poor little thing," she said, half to herself. "Tom tells me she was ten
months old. Almost but not quite old enough to have kits. Exactly the way
she needed to be, for me." She swallowed. "I was hoping for a wolf, myself.
I've always wanted to have packmates."

"I see."

Nancy shivered. "I should have asked Benjamin to bring my clothes here. I
left them by the creek, where Tom cleans his weapons. But I can't leave.
How well do you know the woods, Lori?"

"Not very. Especially not at night. Maybe in the morning, we'll go there."
She looked at her clothes, stained by blood. "I need to wash my clothes,
too. That was foolish of me."

"No, I'm glad you did. I needed it." Nancy lay back, looking up at the
stars. "I almost can't believe I did that. You know how many raw hearts Tom
has been feeding me?"

"I don't want to know," Lori said.

"We practiced a lot. What I worried over most was if I could pull it out.
Ripping open an animal without a knife isn't easy, with all the muscles and
bones." She stopped. "I forgot how uncomfortable it must be to watch."

Lori said nothing at first, and listened to the night crickets chirp a bit.
"Do you really think an animal morph has to be a killer?"

"Well, a child isn't a killer. And only an animal would eat a still-beating
heart."

Lori nodded. "It was a good performance."

"And powerful, wasn't it? What an impression it must've made. I hope the
spirits are impressed by it."

Lori leaned back, joining her friend in the mud, watching the sky. "Do you
really believe the spirits guide the curse? That it isn't under the
Daedra's command? Or Eli's?"

Nancy sighed. "My parents think it's Eli's. The priest says it's the
Daedra's. Benjamin thinks it's the spirits. Ophelia thinks they're all
right, and all wrong, whenever it's convenient for them."

"And what do you believe in?"

Nancy did not respond. They watched the stars together for a long time.

Lori felt a bit chilly, and pressed against Nancy for warmth. Both were
getting tired, yet neither was willing to sleep. "Nancy, do you ever
wonder… if the Aedra are all just parts of Eli, in disguise? If maybe we
worship the same god, you and I?"

"That would be a cruel joke, if He were." Nancy spoke quietly, as if
unwilling to disturb the cold night air. "Though I always liked the thought
that Eli needs us more than we need Him." She spoke even softer now, as if
the thought itself were dangerous. "How far do you think the sky is?"

Lori shrugged. "Probably farther than the sea is deep."

"Sometimes I wonder… They say that Eli is terrifying to behold, both fully
human and fully divine, and his servants can take any form, whether mundane
or many-eyed beings. What if all those stars up there are the eyes of Eli?
What if each one was looking at someone, somewhere in the world? What if
that blackness is his skin, and it is Eli's face up there, turning as He
watches us, holding us flat against the earth, all of us unaware of how
much greater, vaster, powerful He is..."

Lori found the thoughts confusing and unpleasant, so she shut her eyes
without responding. After a few moments, she felt Nancy's wet body curl up
against her.

It wasn't long before sleep took her, her skin covered in goosebumps.
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