[Mkguild] Another Roger Snail Tale

[Michael Bard]

This one was inspired by ideas on the chatroom last night.  Please comment
and/or point out canonity issues.

Michael Bard

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Muffins on the Move



Roger was curled up in his shell trying to get some sleep -- it /is/ what
you do at night after all -- when something /slammed/ into it at high speed.
He could feel his foot flailing at the ground before he felt himself tip
over and *thump* onto his side on the grass.



/That/ killed the last of the sleepiness clogging his eyestalks.



Grumbling, the giant snail gardener pushed himself out of his shell, felt
around with his foot, and slowly pulled himself upright, happy again to be
standing on something.



So, what had happened?



He looked around in all different directions with his eyestalks until one
eyestalk from a non-anthro cheetah out cold on the ground beside him, and
another found a crack, a /crack/ in his shell!



"What the?  Ow.  /Ow/!  Can't a guy sleep in peace?  And it /hurts/.  /Ow/!"



With one hand he gingerly touched the hairline crack in his precious shell.
"Ow!"



The cheetah groaned.



"Bloody--"  Roger slowly pulled himself around so the horrific crack was
safely hidden and examined the quietly moaning cheetah.  He was wearing a
harness-- and a badge.  Guess he was one of the keeps-- umm-- messengers--



There was something in the air.  Not that Roger was really smelling it,
there was something tickling his feelers--  Something-- MMMmmm!  He felt
around the pouch on the cheetah's back and felt something soft and squishy.
He pulled it out.



A muffin!



Roger hadn't had a muffin for months!



Omomomomomomomomom!



He grabbed a second.



Omomomomo--!



Holding a half eaten one in one hand, he reached--



Then the damn cheetah blinked its eyes open.  "Rrrrr--?"



"What the hell were you thinking?" Roger responded.  "Don't you look where
you're /going/?"  He wiped a last few crumbs from his lips with is feelers.
"You could have killed me!  In fact, I'm in pain right now.  Pain I tell
you!  /I need a doctor!"



The cheetah shifted, becoming an anthro form.  "But--"  He shook his head.
"I have an important muffin delivery--"



"Important?  What's more important, some horrible muffins, or /my life/?
Get Coe here /right now!  I'll die if you don't!  And hurry!  /Hurry/!  It
hurts /so/ much!  /Ow/! /Ow/!"



"But--"



"Do you want my /death/ on your conscience?"



"It's an important muffin delivery--"



"I'll die!  /Die/, you hear me?  /Die/!  You're my only home.  The pain!
/The pain/!"



"But--"



"Go!  Save me!  /Save me/!"



The cheetah got up and fled back towards the keep as Roger moaned.  When he
was out of sight he omomomomomomed the rest of the muffin.



***



The sun was warm on his shell by the time the Coe came waddling over.  The
cheetah wasn't with him, must have ran off with his muffin delivery.  Roger
grumbled about wasted time and blind messengers as Brian Coe examined him.
The snail made sure to moan at opportune moments.



"Roger, it's just a hairline fracture."



"But it hurts!"



"Don't give me that!  Just rub some excretion over it for a few days and
it'll heal.  Not that kind!  You know what I mean!"



"Oh, fine--"



"And one more thing, Roger--"



"What?"



"If you're going to steal Misha's muffins don't do it when your skin is
transparent."



Roger started looking for places to hide as Coe walked off.



END