[Mkguild] MK Story Overcoming Fear part 1

[Kamau]

Very nice.  Review embedded in the text.

Kamau

Chris wrote:
> This is a change of pace from my usual action stories. This visits
> Misha's family and touches on some painful things.
> 
> 
> ******************
> 
> 
> 
> Overcoming Fear
> By Christian O’Kane
> 
> July 707
> 
> 
>    “Misha.”
> 
>    “Misha.”
> 
>    “MISHA!” Caroline shouted and touched Misha on the shoulder.
> 
>    The fox morph yelped and jumped in surprise. He turned to see
> Caroline standing there, looking at him. “What? What’s wrong my love?”
> he asked and stroked the side of her face..
> 
>    “You have been sitting at that desk, pen in hand and staring at that
> blank paper for over an hour,” she explained. Caroline wrapped her arms
> around Misha’s neck and nuzzled him softly. “Are you meditating?”
> 
>    “I’m trying to write a letter to . . .” his voice faded and he looked
> down at the paper.
> 
>    “To who?” she asked, puzzled. Misha had a tough persona and a
> reputation as a ferocious fighter but at times he was surprisingly shy
> and nervous. Right now she was seeing a frightened child.
> 
>    “My parents,” he said finally. “I want to put it in with the
> engagement notices.”
> 
>    “So what’s wrong?” she asked.
> 
>    “How do I start it?”  He asked painfully. “I . . . .”
> 
>    “How about the obvious way?” she asked. “Start with ‘Hello Mom and
> Dad.’ “
> 
>    He looked at her dubiously. “What if I put my heart and soul into
> this letter and they reject me again.” His voice cracked and his eyes
> were full of pain and doubt.
> 
>    “You will never know unless write it,” Caroline countered. “All
> you’ll have is your doubts.”
> 
Missing word
“You will never know unless >you< write it,”

>    “But what . . . “
> 
>    “How did Elizabeth react when you talked to her for the first time?”
> the otter said cutting off his objection.
> 
>    “Happy,” he said and his voice mellowed and he sat up straighter.
> 
>    “Then why shouldn’t your own parents?”
> 
>    Misha didn’t answer her but just looked down at the paper. His whole
> body slumped down lower in the chair.
> 
>    “Misha?” she asked in a soft tone, worried by her lover’s response.
> “Misha?”
> 
>    “They . . they . . killed me,” he stuttered in a whisper.
> 
>    Confused, all Caroline could do was look at him.
> 
>    “They decided that rather then have a fox creature for a son they
> would prefer to have me dead. So they declared I had died in some far
> off war. They had a funeral and even had a tomb made for me with a life
> sized HUMAN effigy on it.” He voice cracked. “They want me dead!” He
> started crying and sobbing like a child. The tears flowing down his
> cheeks.
> 
>    All Caroline could think to do was hug him, wrap her arms around him
> and hold him tightly as he cried.
> 
>    “Have you ever asked Elizabeth how they feel now?” the otter asked as
> she stroked his head softly.
> 
>    “No,” he sobbed. “Well. Yes. Sort of.” The crying slowed and he
> looked at her. “I asked a few times how they were doing but I never
> asked what they thought about me. I just didn’t have the courage.”
> 
>    “And you never sent them any letters or anything else?” she asked.
> 
>    He was silent for a moment and sniffled a few times. “I did send Dad
> a nice clock for his birthday. Liz says he really liked it.”
> 
>    She saw the faint glimmer of hope appear in his eyes only to
> disappear again. “Why haven’t they sent ME anything? Why nothing. Not
> even thank you.”
> 
>    “Why haven’t you contacted them?” she countered.
> 
>    “I don’t like jokes,” he snarled angrily.
> 
>    “I am not joking,” she answered in clipped tones. “You are afraid
> they’ll reject you. Maybe they’re afraid you will reject them if they
> say they’re sorry.”
> 
>    Misha sat there totally stunned. “I hadn’t thought of that. Could it
> be that simple?”
> 
>    Caroline saw hope rekindled in his eyes and grow brighter with each
> passing moment. “Only one way to find out.” She tapped the paper with
> her fur covered hand. “Write it.”
> 
>    “Will you help?” he asked like a frightened child. “Please?”
> 
>    Caroline kissed him on the muzzle. “Of course.”
> 
> 
> ************************
> 
> 
>    The letter arrived in an unusual manner – a giant bat with a twenty
> foot wing span landed in the courtyard of the castle. It’s rider was
> dressed in brown leather that had been covered with a rubbery substance
> to make it waterproof. He was of medium height and his body was thin and
> well muscled. Shoulder length black hair was tied back into a pony tail.
> A short sword dangled from a belt on his him and a bow and quiver were
> strapped to his back.
> 
>    The two stood patiently as soldiers streamed into the courtyard,
> swords and spears at the ready.
> 
>   “Misha was right Camella,” the leather clad figure commented to the
> bat. “They weren’t ready for an attack from the sky.”
> 
>    “Few people are Neal,” The bat answered in a feminine voice. “Why are
> you always surprised when this happens?”
> 
>    The two were very quickly surrounded by a score of guards dressed in
> chain mail armor. Each was carrying a long spear with a wickedly sharp
> point. Overhead countless more soldiers aimed powerful bows at them from
> behind stone battlements.
> 
>    “They certainly recovered quickly enough,” the man commented.
> 
>    “Indeed,” the bat answered. Her body shivered and seemed to collapse
> in on its self shrinking and getting smaller and smaller till she was
> roughly human sized. Camella had stopped growing smaller but she did not
> stop changing. Her short bat legs grew longer and changed to something
> more resembling human limbs. A pair of arms separated from Camella’s
> wings which she folded flat against her back. What had been a bat was
> now an odd human like bat woman. It looked like a mage’s hybrid creation
> and more at home Mage’s Guild Hall then a nobleman’s castle.
> 
>    A figure came out of a nearby doorway and slowly advanced on the two
> new arrivals. He was some six feet tall and looked formidable dressed in
> armor and with a sword in his right hand and a shield in the other.
> 
>    The bat cocked her head. “Wow, he is tall!”
> 
>    The rider opened his pouch and produced several envelopes. He handed
> one to the tall guard. “That one is for you Verner.” The rider handed
> the man a second envelope. “This is for your wife Elizabeth. I have
> others for Lord and Lady Brightleaf.”
> 
>    The man looked at the envelope without opening it. “How do you know
> who I am?”
> 
>    “Misha said he would be as tall as a church steeple.”
> 
>    The figure looked startled. “My brother by marriage is dead.”
> 
>    “People keep telling me that,” Neal looked at the bat and commented
> calmly.
> 
>    “Misha certainly looks pretty good for a dead person,” Camella said
> nonchalantly returning the man’s gaze. “Perhaps we should tell him to
> lie down and be still.”
> 
>    “Do you think ANYONE could tell Misha to do anything he doesn’t want
> to?” the rider asked.
> 
>    “Caroline can,” she retorted with a chuckle.
> 
>    “You know him?”
> 
>    “We are here on his behest,” Neal explained.
> 
>    Verner gestured towards the door he had just left. “This way.” It was
> not a request.
> 
> 
> ************************
> 
> 
>    The party was a good one. The massive Long hall was filled with all
> the guests and it seemed as if everyone had been invited. Even the Duke!
> All had come. No one ever willingly missed one of Misha’s parties. The
> fox was famous for throwing some lavish and wild parties and this wasn’t
> just a party it was special! It was an engagement party! He has spared
> no expense and it showed. Banners and streamers covered the walls and
> ceiling. The tables were laden with the finest food set on fine china.
> There was even crystal cups for many of the guests. There was a five
> piece band that played for the guests as they ate the five course meal.
> 
>    Misha and Caroline were well dressed and seemed to be everywhere.
> Talking with all the guests as all they all admired her engagement ring.
> The females admired the beauty while the males were impressed by it’s
> cost.
> 
Doubled wording
Talking with all the guests as >all< they all admired her engagement ring.

>   But for all the excitement and attention both Misha and Caroline had
> their minds somewhere else. They were thinking of two people now in
> Marigund and the message they were delivering.
> 
> 
> *************************************
> 
> 
>    The two had half expected to be thrown into a dark cell in the
> dungeon. Instead the room they were led into was finely appointed. The
> walls were paneled in the same deeply grained wood as the furniture.
> Paintings and drawings in gold frames hung from the walls and a richly
> woven carpet covered the floor.
> 
>    “I’m impressed,” Neal commented as he looked around. “All this bought
> with wool.”
> 
>    “There is a big market for Marigund wool,” Camella said. “The
> Brightleafs are among the biggest wool exporters in the country. The
> shirt you’re wearing is made from Marigund wool.” The bat woman sat down
> on a bench with no back being careful of her wings. “Did you think the
> whole family went around swinging axes?”
> 
>    He chuckled and opened his mouth to speak but a door opened and in
> stepped a figure carrying a large tray. The girl was in her teens, just
> entering adolescence and maturing into a woman. The purple and green
> dress she was wearing was made of wool and trimmed with fine lace. The
> silver ribbons highlighted her black hair nicely.
> 
>    She carefully placed the tray onto a table then turned to the two
> guests. “Welcome to Briarwood Castle,” she said. “Lord and Lady
> Brightleaf will see you shortly. The wine is a fine vintage and I
> brought some food in case you are hungry. You look like one of the fruit
> eating bats from the south so I brought some fruit. I can bring you
> something else if you want.” She didn’t seem the slightest bit disturbed
> by the fact that she was addressing a bat human.
> 
>    “Fruit is fine,” Camella answered. “Thank you. Aren’t you surprised
> to be speaking to a talking she bat?”
> 
>    The girl shook her head. “No. Aunt Elizabeth has had some unusual
> guests here from the Guild. Some of those mages are really weird.”
> 
>    Neal shook his head. “I’m not sure I want to hear anymore of that.”
> 
>    “You would be Amanda,” the bat said. “George’s middle child.”
> 
>    The girl smiled at the recognition. “Yes my lady.” She stepped
> closer. “Are you really from Metamor?” she asked in a conspiratorial
> whisper.
> 
>    “Where else would we be from?” Camella answered. “Do I look like I’m
> from Isenport?”
> 
>    The girl laughed. “Have you really come from Uncle Misha?”
> 
>    “Yes we have,” Neal answered and with a flourish he produced an
> envelope and handed it to the Amanda. “That is for you.”
> 
>    She didn’t take it but looked at the envelope carefully. It looked
> like a normal envelope. On the front was written her name is a black
> flowing hand writing.
> 
>    A figure appeared in a doorway next to the bat. “Take it dear. It’s
> not a trap or poisoned.” The woman was wearing a long, flowing, woolen
> dress of dyed a deep blue color. He hair was loose but fairly short
> 
>    Camella stood up and gave as good a bow as her bat like body allowed.
> She kicked Neal in the ankle.
> 
>    He bowed as well giving a deep, formal bow, his arm almost touching
> the floor. “Lady Elizabeth, Lord Verner. I bring good tidings from Sir
> Misha Brightleaf and Lady Caroline.” 
> 
>    “You knew we were coming?” Neal asked more then a little surprised.
> 
>    “Misha contacted me this morning and told me the good news,” the
> woman explained.
> 
>    “You’re Elizabeth!” Camella exclaimed.
> 
>    “We have a letter for Lord and Lady Brightleaf,” Neal stated.
> 
>    “I’ll take them,” Elizabeth said extending her hand. “This is
> something Reuben and Muriel should hear from family.”
> 
>    “How will they take the news?” Neal asked bluntly.
> 
>    The woman didn’t answer at first. But simply looked at them. “I’m not
> sure. I don’t think my parents themselves know how they’ll take it.”
> 
>    “Then we are all about to find out,” Neal commented bluntly.
> 
> 
> *****************
> 
> 
>    This room was a lot less ornate then the previous one. The paintings
> on the wall looked older and held images of men and woman dressed in
> outdated clothing. The bed was a massive affair of old wood and thick
> wool curtains. But although the furniture looked older and a bit worn it
> felt more friendly then the first room. Unlike the waiting room which
> had been for formally entertaining guests this place was more informal.
> This was a place used often by the Brightleaf family and their friends.
> 
>    “If you need something please feel free to ask,” Amanda asked. 

Consider reworking so that 'ask' is not used twice so close together.

> 
>    “Thank you,” Camella answered as she looked around.
> 
>    “About dinner?” Neal asked hopefully.
> 
>    The girl smiled. “Dinner is at six in the evening.”
> 
> 
> **************
> 
> 
>   Dinner did indeed start at six pm and took place in a surprisingly
> small room. They had expected to be some massive hall but instead they
> were in a small dining room about twenty feet wide and forty long.
 >
Missing word
They had expected to be >in< some massive hall

  The
> table that dominated the room was of thick, black timbers and was
> polished to a high gloss. On the table were plates, saucers and other
> dinnerware of the finest porcelain. All were decorated with the blue
> floral pattern of some far east artisan. To go with the dinnerware the
> silverware was made of real silver and decorated with the same pattern
> as the plates. Glasses of cut crystal rested in front of each seating
> place.
> 
>    Neal was given a seat with a tall back and well padded with leather.
> Camella was escorted to a place next to Neal and found her seat was a
> thickly padded bench with a no back to it. She would have no problem
> sitting even with her large wings.
> 
Extra word
thickly padded bench with >a< no back to it.

>    Already standing around the table when they arrived was a wide
> assortment of people. She recognized Elizabeth and her husband Verner,
> Amanda and several others who she didn’t recognize. All were undoubtedly
> close family.
> 
>    A door at the far end of the room opened and two couple made their
> way into the hall. An older man wearing the clean crisp clothes of a
> trusted servant spoke loudly. “Sir George and Lady Rowenna Brightleaf.”
> He paused for a moment. “Sir Reuben and Muriel Brightleaf.”
> 
Plural needed
A door at the far end of the room opened and two >couples <

>    George and Rowenna Brightleaf were finely dressed. George was doublet
> and pants both of a dark red and blue color. 

 >
Wrong wording
George >wore< doublet and pants both of a dark red and blue color.

He was shorter then Verner
> by a full head span but he was of stocky build. His body showed muscles
> with an edge of fat to them. Telling of a man used to hard work but
> whose body was starting to soften with age. His eyes were bright and he
> seemed to miss little of what was happening around him. They lingered on
> Camella for a long time looking her over from head to paws. Then he
> smiled and nodded to her in greeting.
> 
>    Rowenna was slightly shorter then her husband but thinner. Her blonde
> hair showed little sign of gray and her face was smooth with only a
> small amount of makeup around the eyes and on her cheeks. The light
> yellow dress she was wearing had a border of flowers painted in bright
> colors and edged with silver. Several rings decorated her fingers and a
> long gold chain with pearls hung from her neck. She locked eyes with
> Camella and smiled broadly as her faced animated with friendship and
> delight. Her greeting seemed warm and sincere.
> 
>    Reuben Brightleaf was of middling height and with a rough and weather
> worn face whose eyes missed little of what was going on around him. He
> hair was more gray then it’s original black and was thinning on top. His
> clothes were well made and finely cut speaking of money well spent on it
> but was just warn enough to speak of being his normal wear and not
> merely worn to impress.
> 
>    On his right arm was a woman of about the same age as Reuben. Her
> hair was a dark brown and heavily salted with gray. Her long, flowing
> dress was of purple wool. For someone so rich Muriel was wearing
> remarkably little jewelry. A gold wedding ring was on one hand and a
> necklace of silver chain dangled from her neck ending in a broach of the
> same silver.
> 
>    The pair bowed deeply to Camella and Neal who returned the gesture
> with bows of their own.
> 
>    “It is a pleasure to have guests from such a distant place,” George
> said in a calm voice filled with a strength that belayed his age.
> 
>    Neal smiled broadly. “Thank you for such a gracious reception.”
> 
>    Camella nodded in agreement. “Especially for taking into account my
> wings. Many people forget the wings and bring me a chair I can’t sit in
> without crushing them.”
> 
>    “Think nothing of it!” Rowenna said. “Elizabeth went through her ‘Fly
> like the birds’ phase as a youngster. It was a month before we could get
> her to remove the wings. At least we finally managed to get her to keep
> her clothes on.”
> 
>    “Mother!” Elizabeth scolded and blushed a deep red. “I was eight at
> the time.”
> 
>    “If you will all take a seat we’ll begin the meal!” Reuben ordered
> gently with a smile on his lips.
> 
> 
> *************
> 
> 
> End part 1
> 
> No virus found in this outgoing message.
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> 3/19/2009 7:03 PM
>  
> 
> 
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